h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why do we have coffee tables, but no tea tables? isn't this some kind of prejudice against different types of tables?
Why do table makers and names automatically assume that i will only be using my table for beverages?
More often than not, i will place a glass of sprite on my table, or a glass of milk for that matter....

In fact, i have never had a drink of coffee in my own house, but still we call our table the "coffee table"...

I've got a "nest of tables" too, but have never seen a pidgeon near it...

That's a good one. It's like calling a teacup a teacup, although one might use it for other beverages, say coffee.

and why do we have occasional tables

what is it the rest of the time?

And tables of 4, 5, and 6?

do you mean the nests of tables? because you shouldn't even get me started on those bloody things!

you pull one out, then you fill every mm of its surface, so you need the next one and again you fill every mm, so then you can't put them back together ever again because theres too much junk on all of them!

Table of 4:
once 4 is 4
twice 4 is 8
three times 4 is 12

etc.etc.etc.

ah those types of tables...well, don't get me started on the nine times table thing where you work it out on you fingers...never remembered it

I once had to copy down the 8 times table 8 times because I didn't know it. Afterwards I had to recite it, and I still didn't know it.
Teacher: "what do you mean, you still don't know it? You've just copied it down 8 times!!
Me:"yeah, but I didn't know I had to learn it afterwards!!

Don't ocasional tables spend their 'non table time' being chairs? and why is this table called a desk? whats the difference I've got a 'beer' table

why is there dining tables when they are only used at chrimbo? the rest of the time i call it the place to dump shopping bags....

Is a table still a table when you sit on it? Doesn't this make it a bench?

We used to use the smallest nest table for our feet, did that make it a puoffee?

Or a footstool?

or a puff as we call our proper one now

pouffe?

yeah, puff

Whatever.

I think my brain is defective perhaps I should send it back and get a refund

I might write into the Daily Mail and express my disgust about people being prejudice about tea tables