h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oooh oooh oooh - here's another one!

When driving at night, the one thing that really p****s me off is when a driver behind you has his (or her) headlights on full beam. Not only is this very dangerous - how on earth are you supposed to see when there's a bright light shining in your eyes (through the mirror)?!! - but if you're just on the speed limit of the road or at the highest speed for safe driving, you can't speed up to try and avoid it.

And do these people even try to overtake you while doing this - no!!!!!!!

Mikeo.

people who pull in onto a motorway and then onto the next lane without checking their blindspot once. (debatable whether he checked his mirrors)

People who cruise down the middle lane of the motorway (at any speed) when the slow lane is virtually empty (you can do the same speed over there if you want to AND the motorway will generally move faster)

People who don't indicate, particularly when I'm a pedestrian and I want to cross the road.

People who undertake in a traffic jam, when you have stopped the nearside of a yellow box, just to end up one car space ahead of you. What is the point?

One person one car commuters

People who have no concept of box junctions. The Longbridge Island Junction 15(? or is it 14? and I use it everyday!!!) of the M40 is an example of morons who just don't get it.

And people who drive around with their front foglights on. Gahh! Though if they come up behind me I annoy them intensely by putting my rear foglights on. Usually they get the message after that...

I must point out that I always indicate and recently downsized in car, though :o)

I alsways find a good way of dealing with tail-gaters is to slow down to about 60, then speend up to 80, then slow down again, then speed up again. Great fun.

i heard that 'mondeo' was latin for 'to drive badly'

Car drivers.

In general, it does seem like most are out to kill me on my m/bike.

But definately Beemer drivers, I've seen some filth and almost been killed many a time...

Our coach driver taking us back from Nottingham to Manchester

Went north to Mansfield, then turned round, when south again to Nottingham, then west to Derby, then to Stoke, caught in a jam on the M6, after 3 hours we reached the sign that says Manchester 45 miles. We'd already gone 80 miles, and it is only 80 miles from Nottingham to Manchester anyway

Not really a general complain. I just wanted to mention this idiot driver

Wow. (silent in awe)

And I thought I did well to get lost between Warwick town centre and my house...in Warwick. *That* coach driver should be given a medal...or taken outside and shot for being stupid.

We were going to collect a tip for him

Our tip - Use an Atlas!

returning to the point made about driving at speed through the New Forrest. Think if you will on what happens to a car, and it's occupants when it hits wildlife!

Now transport this drive to Banff National Park in Alberta, 1 hour from Calgary! Hit a moose at 80 mph and live to tell the tale, won't happen, your dead. Drive at the posted limit and you can avoid these creatures, and your death!

As for people overtaking in a lane that is closed and they know it. Behind me your first!

People who, on approaching a traffic jam on the motorway, put their hazard lights on as they slow down! I mean Why? All those brake lights coming on at the same time is a bit of a pointer that traffic is going slow.

Things most likely to be heard by my passengers while I'm driving:

1) One lane per customer per trip!
2) Hang up the goddamned phone!
3) It's the one on the right! (meaning the pedal)

There was a time when I wondered aloud why we couldn't have some sort of universal symbol affixed to the cars of bad drivers. And then I noticed that it was there all along. It's a religious symbol/bumper sticker affixed to the rear. Pass that on to everyone... it's good to know.

Personally, I find the wheel at each corner is a bit of a giveaway

People who drive in the middle lane on motorways - even when there's nothing in the inside lane. It's not just annoying but dangerous, since to overtake them, you have to go across two lanes of traffic (instead to just round them).

People who crawl along in the outside lane because they're turning right in a couple of miles or because they're bloody minded & don't like being overtaken.

People who pull out into the outside lane of a two lane carriageway because they can see a slow moving lorry in the distance - thus slowing the outer lane down to a crawl, leaving the inside lane empty - parts of the M3 are very bad for this. If everyone stayed in the inside lane & only pulled out to go round the vehicle then the whole thing would move so much quicker.

Ninja cyclist who think that the rules of the road don't apply to them - you're the ones who are going to come off worse if we hit you in our big metal tanks!

People who can't be bothered to turn the steering wheel properly & so cut corners / move into the inside lane on roundabouts / corners with more than one lane - almost taking off the front of your bonnet. They always look surprised when you beep them.

People who use residential streets as shortcuts (which I don't mind too much) but who drive up them at 40mph or above, only to have to break almost immediately as the road is only a couple of hundred yards long.

That'll do for now

I particularly agree with the corner cutting one; people are really bad for that in Coventry and seem to get really narked if you hold your right of way.

Taxi drivers are bad for that, too!

In fact, my other half has a white Skoda Octavia estate which is great fun at night for convincing people misbehaving in front of you that you're a cop car - heh heh heh. I've never seen a taxi do 45mph in a 50mph zone before...particularly when they normally zoom past doing 60+.

From the side and behind it's patently obvious we're not the police.......

truck drivers sitting on my f**king a**e, while I am doing the speed limit (100km/h) I had one one day who was that far up my a**e, all I could see was his registration number... mind you, because of his behaviour, it caused me to be a complete a**ehole, dropping down to 80km/h while he was unable to overtake, then speeding up again when it was possible for him to overtake me. I kept him behind me that way, probably frothing at the mouth, for about 30-40km. Tailgate me, will ya?

New motorist rant. Drivers in Formby and Freshfield on Merseyside. 3 times on Saturday I was nearly hit by aforementioned cretins. In the worst incident some moronic woman in a huge car overtook me leaving a few cms gap between her and my handlebars. The thing that got me was I was right up against the kerb and the road was otherwise empty.

"has a white Skoda Octavia estate which is great fun at night for convincing people misbehaving in front of you that you're a cop car "

Well, it obviously got *you* more respect than you think.

That's why I never cycle close to the kerb: a driver's field of view is remarkably narrow.

Plus, the further from the kerb you are, the wider they pull out to avoid you.

Yeah but if I'm too far from the kerb I get nervous and I feel like a nuisance. I don't want to cause other road users inconvienience but at the same time I want some consideration. I actaully chased this mad woman and gave her a piece of my mind