h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We started going out together around September of last year. Things accelerated and at my time of TEFL my parents were abroad and thus I moved in with him. Gradually things started falling apart and I finally moved out.

I agree with <> That is exactly what I've been thinking. I've never been friends with my ex's after and I'm not prepared to sit back and watch them moving on to be with someone else if they do at all.

Opti! I'm with Robtn, when she advised getting together woth an old friend and letting yourself get distracted - i like the "you are wonderful" and you really do deserve someone who will be on your side more than one day a week.



Right, i'm off to have a peek at FB too >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

not b4 i put the typo right: i menat Robyn

correcting a typo with a typo... you been spending time around lil???

Seems I'm hearing things....once a week wasn't mentioned. I'm to come and go as I wish.

Can I just, at the risk of pushing you into doing things you dont want, make a suggestion.

I dont know about you, I tend to fret when I feel like I dont have the freedom of my own choices.

As such, when it dawns on me that I'm running around at someone else's beck and call. (And the opposite, staying away at someone's beck and call counts too. Being 'free to do what you want' is very different to 'you're free to do what you want, but I love you and doing things together would be nice'...), I have thias irrisistable urge to shake things up.

First port of call when I feel the need to take measures is thus: I stop being there.

Great! they think, she's giving me some space! Phew! what a nightmare she is! All clingy and stuff!

... Until it dawns on them that you're busy doing other things.

Without them.

Then they and you realise that what they wanted all along was to be in control of you. It wasn't YOU they necessarily wanted, they want to feel wanted etc, but when you get too close, they push you away. When you go away too far, they need you back.

I take away their control and see what happens. if they accept it the relationship thrives, if they dont, they lost me by their own actions because usually their pathetic whining makes me realise how annoying they are.

Basically, you have to ignore their 'I didn't say/mean/do that' or 'not in that way' or whatever excuses they come up with to get you to feel like you've over-reacted, are being too harsh etc. That's the tough bit.

If you know deep down that what you want doesn't come into it, you have to sometimes dig your heels in. I would suggest that if you showed all the signs of not being interested any more, he'll try anything in his power to get you back by his side.

And here comes my final lesson.

Anyone can have a second chance. Third chances aren't chances, they are agreeing to be treated like a fool. Anything that happens if you back a third time is of your own making. You know, deep down, nothing will change if the second chance wasn't enough. It means your relationship behaviour is an acceptable bump in the road to them, they aren't taking you seriously and you are not taking yourself seriously.

I'm sorry if that's harsh and could, in this situation be totally inappropriate. It's gotten me pretty far though. Time will tell if it's a successful philosophy, but I do take my own advice, no matter how much I'd like to ignore it. Sometimes it takes me longer than it should, but mostly cos I hate being wrong, and when you choose to give someone your time and love, it's hard to admit you were wrong about them deserving it.

All the best love. X

...and not one typo
I'll have to read it again

I spotted three...

Speaking of Typo`s, I have an Add-On with FireFox, which is my browser, and it actually corrects small mistakes for you as you type.

Then I have the Spellchecker which is on the Google tool bar I installed, its really handy, as i find myself typing fast as possible to get the data down, before I forget what I was going to say

Smudger.

just in case
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/

Opti, how are things going now?