h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Am I the only superhero listed on the h2g2 site?

Vestboy

Faster than a skateboard, broader than a bus.

With my "vest string" (tm) and "underpant elastic gun" (tm) pat pending I can conquer the universe.

I just need to meet up with the rest of the crowd who said they would be here.

Who chose this silly planet anyway?

Hello Vestboy, I'm not sure I qualify as a genuine superhero, since I only think that I'm an ancient Viking King, but that may be as good as it gets on this planet, don't you think?

Oh and by the way I'm pretty sure the answer to your question is "The Mice". Also bearing in mind your Super Hero bona fides, you might find my article on VESTS interesting.

Regards, Olaf the...um

Olaf the Hesitant - great name. Do you have horns out of your hat and lots of fur.

I think you'll make a fine superhero - we need more undecided's in a world of opinionated people and I've got enough opinions for a horde of superhero's.

Do you wear your underpants on the outside or the inside of your furs? I know most superheroes wear them on the outside but I tend to break with convention and only wear them i.e. that is they are neither inside or outside.

It looks better with the vest.

Neither inside nor outside, eh? Sounds a bit Schroedinger's Cat to me, Vestboy. Your pants clearly inhabit two quantum states, which is cool, if a bit indecisive for one so opinionated.

I have imaginary horns and a fictitious magic helmet, but I'm pleased to say that, since I've hit middle-age, my fur is all my own, even if it does grow out of some very strange places.

Anyway, I'm off to Valhalla for a few days R&R; don't go saving the world 'til I'm back!

I can't save the world in a few days! Well, not without help and more supplies of underpant elastic and vest string (tm). Have a good one and give Ickenham my love. Have you seen Hillingdon On-line? http://come.to/hillingdon

Hey Vestboy and Olaf

May I say that it is both a pleasure and a privilege to meet you and that it will be nice to have someone to share the burden of World Saving with.

I am, however, a different type of superhero. You see despite being a mega babe, able to kick ass against any number of strange and ugly foes, in the end all that I need in order save the planet from destruction is the love of a good man (or Bruce Willis, whichever is nearer).

Please don’t take that as an offer of free love

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

A mega babe?!

My slogan "Faster than a skateboard, wider than a bus" would perhaps suit you too then?

And do you wear "yours" inside or outside?

I meant "broader than a bus" - I can't even read my own postings

Hey Leeloo, how's the mega babe business? Sorry for the tardy reply but Valhalla's been kicking the last few days.

I'm sorry to worry you, but your requirement in a male seems to point inexorably at The Pope, and I can't help thinking that might prove a tough one to crack. I'm told Bob Geldoff might be free; worth a shot do you think?

Little Brucie Willis is certainly an option, but watch out for his VEST (see my article P115552, sorry I can't do those clever linky things yet).

I’ll let you keep that little gem of a slogan for yourself thank you Vestie!! It’s a bit too close to home for a girl who loves chips and Chunky Kit Kats.

Seeing as how all of my clothes are designed by Jean Paul Gautier I would have to be an outie. It does all go to waste however when your outfits are overshadowed by the most magnificent VEST in the history of the world. Que sera sera ...

As for the man thing - I think I’ll just take Bruce if you don’t mind. The other two suggestions sound too much like hard work! Anyway, excuse me - I’m off to read something about vests ... this better be good

Talking of vests apparently the American nation thinks of waistcoat when they say vest. I certainly don't wear a waistcoat. And JPG didn't design the one I wear.
It could be described as a Marxist vest in the Marxist and Specerist sense of the term.

Nothing like a good Duke to save the world...

Welcome Duke!
Describe your powers to us so that we can fit you in at the most appropriate moment when saving the world - and other places of course

Right. My powers are twofold. I've been said to have eyes that can open oysters from 50 yards afar, and I'm owner of a moustasche that no wind, however strong, can rid me of. This, I might add, is what have put fear in the younger generation, teaching them to have respect for their elders.

So let's just summarise:

There's Vestboy, Olaf, Leeloo and Duke. Together we comprise the known Forces of Righteousness fighting evil on this planet. Now we've just got to get ourselves one of those group name things.

How about the Fab Four?

How about Fab F.O.R as in Forces Of Righteousness?

Woops. Olaf, I just sent you a mail 4.07 meg large... Ah well, enjoy the file...

Did someone say fighting evil? Are we reading from the same script?

As for the name we will hopefully recruit a few more S.H.s to join so unless we keep changing the name we may need to leave out the numerical part.

I like the sound of the 'tache Duke. Do you wax it?

If there's a party, I use real wax. If at work, I use soap. And the at christmas and days of that magnitude, I wrap it in clingfilm so as to not get all that food in it.