h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Way hey!

And 75 points for a mum pushing a pram!

Yes... it IS good news, isn't it?

God knows what the make of it is (I bought it sight unseen) but it's electric blue and does 60mpg

Can't be bad, can it?

Oh yes

And I appear to have been offered a job, once I'm disabled, too!
etc etc

Good to hear from you!

Oh - re your last message

(BTW what class of telesales ARE you in.....sending messages at bloody 2.45 in the morning!)

Excellent idea.

Its a bit rusty... but I'm sure after a couple rubs with an emery cloth she'll come up sparkly enough to attract attention!

Tele sales indeed ! Her actual quote was 'Call centre drone' ! Just another night in Gotham City...

Ach - I knew it was something dismissive, anyway!

(And at the risk of sounding snarpy, I haven't got time or inclination to read all the small print dross - I've *got* a life, after all!)

All quiet in Gotham, was it? Or did you have a run in with Danny de Vito? Or has your luck changed and Halle Berry arrived?

As for me, all quiet on the Eastern Front... more admin and fighting with the PTB and the GP surgury(nothing new there, then),

the youngest has found a job in the local chi-chi furniture shop, so he's got that AND college now (Musical Engineering; DON'T ask - it appears to involve computor programming and strange noises)

and the eldest seems head over heels in at least lust.

It must be serious, it's lasted over a week and he still thinks enough of her to keep his hands to himself!

This post has been removed.

Hello Cake !

Alpha-Male

Bohemian Curry
Queen Bohemian Curry! (To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)
Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle, now he's dead.
Naan-aa, dinner just begun
But now I'm going to crap it all away.
Naan-aa, ooh-ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry,
Seen nothin' yet just see the loo tomorrow,
Curry on, Curry on,
cause nothing really madras.
Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers up my spine
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye every bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan-aa, ooh ooh,
This Dopiaza's mild,
I Sometimes wish we'd never come here at all... (Guitar solo)
I see a little chicken tikka on the side,
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh
pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does nicely
Very very spicey ME!
Biryani (Biryani) Biryani (Biryani) Biryani and a naan,
(A vindaloo loo boo...) I
've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to a lavatory Stand you well back
Cause this loo is quarantined.
Here it comes,
There it goes,
technicolor yawn.
I chunder No! It's coming up again (There he goes)
I chunder It's coming up again (There he goes)
It's coming up again, (Up again) Coming up again (up again)
Here it comes again (No no no no no no no no no No).
On my knees, I'm on my knees, I'm on my knees
Oh there he goes This vindaloo Is about to wreck my guts
Poor me... Poor me... Poor me! (Guitar solo)
So you think you can chunder and still it's alright?
So you want to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Ohh maybe, now you'll puke like a baby,
Just had to come out,
Just had to come right out in here.... (Guitar solo)
Korma, saag or bhuna,
Balti, naan, bhaji.
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference to me
(Anyway, my wind blows.)

Scatological humour with a smidge of originality

Well, OK, it's been doing the rounds for a time now




But it's a darned sight more witty than some other c@@p I've read lately.

Ooooh!



'Allo!

Greetings, Evadne

And there you were - gorn!

How ya doing?

KIND OF LATE FOR ME TO UP AND ABOUT...

You say?