h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: What to do when facing an aggressive dog - A1015732
Author: Stefanf - U224194

Here is my first entry, about facing aggressive dogs. I was greatly surprised when the search didn't bring up an entry on the subject, so I wrote one myself. I hope it gets through

Hi,

Looks good! Seems to agree with what I've read (as a runner and cyclist).

You have used it's instead of its (its territory).

Do you have any special advice for cyclists? Is it true that squirting your water bottle works?

Awu

Useful advice here. As an ex paper boy, I've had my moments with agressive dogs. Worst ever incident being when I pushed the paper through the letter box of a door that wasn't properly shut - the door swung open and a metre in front of me was a giant alsatian... I turned and ran and just managed to hurdle the gate before it got to me.

Sometimes running can be the solution if you only have a short distance to safety.

For cyclists, keeping your bike between you and the hound is a good plan.

Sprout

According to cycling bible 'Richard's Bicycle Book', there is something about the noise the spokes make swishing through the air that drives dogs mad. Which may explain how some of them react...

The book advocates some tactics for use when defending yourself in extreme situations, the only one of which I remember was the most life-or-death of them all - trying to ram your bicycle pump down the dog's throat. I don't think I could ever do that, but if it was life-or-death... well, I'd probably be in such a panic that I couldn't do it anyway.

you inflate the dog?! What happens when it bursts?

I liked this. Concise and useful. I am not sure how succesful I would be both showing no fear and making myself as big as possible though.

One thing I do which often works is pretend to have some food in my hand, and then pretend to throw it so the dog gets distracted. Of course, if I am carrying something edible, that is even better.

Thanks for all the comments, and I'm glad you like it. Based on what you all have said, I've done some editing on the entry. I think it looks very good now.

Very nice entry

What about barking at the dog? I've used that twice whilst cycling and being chased by a dog. It's a bit embarrassing at first but I got a result both times

I guess it shows my naturally evil nature, but I find that loose dogs that threaten you are owned by folks who can't be bothered to behave in a civilized fashion, and their dogs learn this from them.

I got the dogs on my paper route to leave me alone by kicking them, and then hunting them down and kicking them some more. For the fast runners, I made sure to use my steel-toed boots, so the few kicks I got in told.

You kick the dog? I don't approve that, but if it's truly in self defense I think it's acceptable. But going after them to kick them some more (with steel-toed boots!) is just damn cruel. People like you should be locked up.

As for barking at the dog, I kind of consider that the same as the commanding bit. I'm sure the dog is more affected by the loudness than by it happening to be barking.

This is a good idea for an entry, although I'd like to make some comments that would be worth mentioning.

" The signs of aggressiveness of a dog are: showing teeth, hairs standing up, ears folded back."
Dogs that are not making any noise while doing the above are preparing to bite, although it's easy to misinterpret these signs because dogs raise their hackles for lots of reasons. If the dog is barking, then it's less likely to bite you, growling it's unsure, snarling it's *really* cross, and when it's silent its going to have your arm in its mouth.

"Showing any sign of fear lets the dog know that it is superior and can do whatever it wants."
This isn't right, in the doggy world of pack, showing fear/submission is a good way of getting the agressive dog to *not* bite you. Although it will probably still feel superior, this is soemthing that its owners have taught it, so you're unlikely to be able to change its mind under these circumstances. (Under other circumstances, you can, but not these.)

"4. Make yourself look as big as possible. Big equals threatening to animals, and you might discourage the dog."
Sorry, but this is wrong as well. A dog that feels it needs to bite is usually acting in self-defence, so taking on the characteristics of something that substantiates the dog's fear - ie that you *are* something to be scared off is going to provoke it.

"5. Try to command the dog to go away. For best results, speak calmly, loudly and with a low voice"
I'm not sure that this would work, although acting as if you expect to be obeyed will be something that the dog would recognise. Pack order is everything to dogs.

"If all else fails, back away quietly." Try sideways.

You should really put the bit about not looking the dog in the eye at the top of the entry, so people know that straight away.

Once upon a time I was a postman for a bit, and dog attacks are taken pretty seriously. We had loads of lovely advice on what to do if under canine attack. For example, if it jumps at you you either 'punch' it and ram your fist down its throat, or if you can grab its front legs and yank them outwards, which crushes the rib cage and will almost certainly give it a heart attack. Pretty grisly, but that's showbiz. Happily, I didn't have to do either in my glorious eight month career with the Royal Mail.

...and, as a dog owner (well, sharer) and a bit of a student of their hairy little ways, I can vouch for the fact that everything Mina said is correct.

Thanks! I was wondering if I'd contradicted myself, but obviously not.

I don't think that a Guide Entry is the place for recommending trying to punch or otherwise hurt an animal though.

Don't get me wrong, I love animals, particularly cats, dogs, badgers, dolphins and urban foxes... but in a situation where an animal is attacking you and causing serious injury, I think we would be remiss if we DIDN'T give details of what to do in an emergency.

As long as we say in very big letters *do this if AND ONLY IF you consider yourself in mortal danger*?

I mean, just thinking of the standard Royal Mail advice DogManStar tells us of makes my stomach feel horrible - yet it's filed away neatly in the back of my mind for a possible future emergency, and if applied could save me from serious injury and a long period of hospitalisation.

I don't know, I really don't...

Yes, I'm not sure that H2 is recommending hurting an animal in anything other than a dire situation. If the entry was saying something like 'If you see a dog, immediately kill it, just in case' that would obviously be silly. But I think the advice offered in this thread would have a place in the entry, albeit with appropriate sub editing.

I'm at home now, and I've dug out my copy of 'Richard's Bicycle Book'... there's some good stuff here. Obviously we can't replicate it for copyright reasons (Mina, is it probably best not to mention it directly in the Entry?) but we can of course distill the essence of the advice and incorporate it into the Guide...

"The main thing when dealing with a vicious dog is to have *confidence*. As a human being you are one of the largest mammals on earth and a formidable contender in a fight. Suppress your fears and radiate the notion the any dog that messes with you will regret it for the rest of his days, if he lives that long. It is only the rarest of dogs that will attack a human obviously prepared for self-defence. Speak to the dog in firm tones, keep you bike between you, and slowly walk away."

The other advice if having to fight off a dog is "if you have got a pump or a stick, hold it at both ends and offer it up to the dog horizontally. Often the dog will bite the stick/pump and hang on. Immediately lift the dog up and deliver a very solid kick to the genitals."

The final advice is: "If you successfully fend off an attack, notify the dog owner or the police. This is a very real responsibility because the next person might not be as well-prepared as you" which I think is something we really ought to include... after all, a dog is the responsibility of its owner, legally as well as morally.

Owners of aggressive dogs who let them loose are the ones who should be locked up. Human beings have brains and they should be required to use them when there is percieveable opportunity of serious harm to others. Snookums the pitbull may seem sweet to you, but he is still a dog. It is irrelevant as to whether a particular dog is trainable, just happens to feel threatened by lesbians, or missed today's dose of doggie Quaaludes. No dog is as important as a human being, EVER.

I saw lots of loose dogs as a newspaperboy. My observation is, if a vicious dog is around enough that you can hunt it down, it is already starting to form packs and threatening other people. In the US, or at least in California, animal control is a low funding priority, and neighborhood disputes weaken dogcatcher authority anyway. Some dogs got shot, that deserved it. Most that deserved it didn't.

The point of civilization is to protect its weaker members. I am unapologetic.

Okay, so now I'm very confused. I don't quite know what I have right and what's wrong anymore. Could we get some agreement here, please?

Seems like a good article to me.