h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Woops, that simplistic statement was in four parts not three! Since I'm here again, I wondered whether anyone had any views on an air subject not aired yet. Air head.

I am rather unclear as to what air head really is. Does air head relate to a person who is relatively unable to comprehend most of what is occurring in their environment and spends their time nodding inanely like one of those little plastic dogs on the back shelf of a car (you know, everyone but you and I had them back in the '60's - that is if I remember it right).

Or does air head relate to a person who is sexually frustrated and dreams of intriguing sexual practices which are generally not referred to in front of parents (unless you are really liberated), teachers (unless you are Lolita), bosses (unless you want a promotion) and others in authority (unless you are a sexual sycophant).

Well back to the origonal air guitar that started this whole thing off. Just feel the guitar in you hand, think it, smell it, believe it. And you WILL be on stage at wembley with Marilyn Manson as you've dreamed of.

Well, it's only a matter of time before someone else tells us. If it weren't for this frames business we'd be able to look at the page source and see what you'd put. Why have you become italicised, anyway?

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Ian Anderson was God, but then his voice went crap and they stopped playing Aqualung, Broadsword and Up to Me live.

I must protest! You youngsters know nothing! THE seminal air guitar record was Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. This sad bunch had not one but THREE lead guitars. No 70's disco was complete without a trio of geeks (always male, funnily enough), assembling in a line in the middle of the dance floor to strut their funky collective air stuff. It was embarassing even then.

Guitar is becoming increasingly unpopular with the mainstream youth of today because of such things as these. You'll notice that every member of Marillion (when they were proper Marillion with Mr. Dick singing) was covered with crap and weird hair and makeup except for Mr. Rothery, luckily. I mention this because I don't want people slagging them off. Anyway, until as recently as Extreme with that git Bettencourt putting his hand over his mouth to yawn and tapping a yawnlike riff with his left hand the image of the guitar linked with an arse playing it was still very strong. Dance-liking people who don't understand the beauty of creating music on a physical instrument think it's all just posturing and so forth - the bands that played with poodle-haired image queens squealing away waving their arms wildly have a lot to answer for. Guitarists can be people too. Air guitar, whilst amusing, has been quite damaging.

I often play my Air Guitar whilst wareing my Air Jordan ................ Does this count?

Most likely do play air cello. I recently purchased Inquisition Symphony and when I played "One" for my brother, he broke into air cello during the "guitar" solo several minutes in. Quite humorous to see, actually...

I watched a 30th anniversary program about Woodstock last weekend and I noticed that Joe Cocker had the ultimate air guitar movements!! At least, that's what I HOPE I saw.

I think I saw someone this morning playing air guitar while riding a bicycle. Rather talented, I thought. Much better balance than I ever had...

You're right about Joe cocker - I'd forgotten he used to do that. Does this make him the inventor of the air guitar, or does anyone know of an earlier example?

Al Joleson.

He used his hands for all sorts of things.......at least thats what the Kids used to say.

Nudging the conversation backwards a bit to talk about air instruments.
Myself and a few classmates once played an extravagent air number called Air War of the Worlds Music. There was me on air keyboards, about a dozen in a semicircle in front of me, including footpedals (otherwise known as air Rick Wakeman), Ogg (a strange boy, but he still has much to learn) on air drums, somewhat frantically, Barry (also quite strange but for all the wrong reasons) on air guitar and Kat (probably not the one in this conversation) on air bass. As Kat was the only one who could play an instrument, she was probably the best, although us music illiterates put up a good show, what with our flamboyant gestures and what-not.
My air instrument of choice is air guitar, although doing a Pete Townshend tends to make my lampshade swing violently. I prefer to play in front of my wardrobe, which has big mirrors on it. Useful for posing, and seeing if the door is opening.
The best air guitar tracks, in addition to those already mentioned, are Unforgiven II by Metallica, anything else by Metallica, and Snowblind by Black Sabbath.

i assuming you're not talking about me?

It seems not. I've just visited your user page, and the Kat I know is 18, has just finished 'A' levels (they sort of come a bit after high school, I think) and is from Britain.
So now you know you're not the only Kat in the world.

Aaargh! I seem to have stumbled upon the least coherent conversation in the entire guide. So let me make it even worse. Have you noticed how with air guitars, higher notes are instinctively produced by moving the left hand UP the guitar, the opposite of real guitars? (Or is that just me?) Also, there's been a trend recently for people who want to be DJs to play Air Decks - they hold a pair of air headphones to one ear, and scratch an air record on an air turntable with the other.
Oh, and I know someone called Kat too. But it's not either of the ones mentioned already. So there.

Look, I know many people who enjoy true music (Heavy Metal) and are not 12. So shoo
Zipo

Yeah it goes like this. (some muffled noises in the background of concentration)
Yeah. it's something like that.

True music? Stravinsky would be an unknown name if he'd thought that the only speed was fast and that the only frequencies were the very high and very low ones. Although the obligatory ballad might have been quite good before people realised it was the same as every other obligatory ballad and started slagging it.