h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Scandrea walks in, and sets something that looks like a jam jar covered in tin foil and duct tape with headphones taped to it on the empty workbench. She doesn't notice the other occupants of the lab right away. Out of her backpack, she pulls a much-abused radio transmitter/receiver, which she immediately starts tinkering with.*

Now that I have time to work with this, maybe I can make it do something useful...

Try this

*hands over a sonic screwdriver*

I have consulted the CHOPPERS information retrieval system and have discovered this.

F71367?thread=133744 ...... Postings 137 + and 273 + appear to be relevant but it does not inspire confidence for the current mission. Bots and Bugs seem to be a bit of a problem. Hmmmmm.

Ooops, system glitch .... I meant posting 67 + of course

Thanks! *accepts sonic screwdriver, and looks over the post.* Help yourself to a cup of !

It seems we need to formulate a plan of action here. We need to either destroy the bug and all its fellows, or use it to spread misinformation. What do you think?

[Freeze frame on Scandrea's face. The words "It could be pretty useful ..." appear above the still image, and "Let's destroy it!" below them. A mouse cursor appears, and moves down to hover over the lower option, and Yar's voice is heard saying 'Let's destroy it!' Click.]

[Cut to Yar walking over]

[Yar] Hi. I couldn't help but hear this conversation, and, as a fan of large explosions of all kinds, I recommend destruction. It just so happens that I'm working on some high-powered on-the-fly weaponry that you can make using a lightsaber, a Chefinator battery, and a wad of bubble gum. What exactly is goin' on and where's it at?

*Looks up, and extends hand to Yar for a handshake*

Hi Yar! I'm Scandrea, the new superhero. And this *indicating the duct-taped jar on the workbench* contains a spybot from STUMPED that we found in the HQ. I don't know how many more of them there are.

Red Dog will be able to tell you more than I can.

*puufs chest out*

Yes I can tell you more !

*the Dewey Demon wanders in, having completely forgotten about anti-Affy's evil plans*

Ooh, a spy-bot!

*moves in for a closer look*

We'd better work out what we're going to do with it pretty quickly. I don't know how long those batteries in the MP3 player are going to last.

[Yar] [blank expression] MP3 player.

*points to MP3 player attached to headphones on jar.* I had to keep it from hearing our conversation somehow! This was the first thing I could grab. See F47032?thread=61606&skip=860&show=20 post 863 for what happened. I forgot you weren't there.

Why don't we try this ?

*hands Scandrea an experimental CHOPPERBOT*

*gets tired of waiting for Yar to shake her hand, and takes from RD.*

A bug for a bug?

fight fire with fire

I'll put 10 moxons on our Bot to take theirs

All right!
*turns off MP3 player, carefully removes foil and duct tape, opens jar, and drops in . Slams lid back on jar containing the two bugs.*
Hope this works.

[Yar] [as soon as the MP3 player is off] So, I was just thinking about my new invention, the -- [turns the MP3 player on for a few seconds, then turns it off] It should be pretty useful, especially if STUMPED decides to -- [turns the MP3 player on for a few more seconds, then turns it back off again] However, it can be rendered completely useless by -- [turns the MP3 player on for a few seconds, then turns it off] -- so I don't recommend that you -- [turns it on and leaves it on] Y'know, the thing about their trying to spy us out is that we don't actually DO anything or spout off our weaknesses.

Well, you gotta admit. It's still kind of fun to play with their heads.

Boy, look at that go!

*the Dewey Demon watches with interest*

Do you think the bug would be able to hear if I mentioned that I'm planning on instituting a super-hero library we can use for pre-mission research? You see, I somehow doubt we'll be allowed back in to the Grand Repository of Knowledge after the [dramatic pause] unpleasantness.

I think they're going to rename it The Grand Repository of Mess and Disorder after the *ahem* fact-finding visit.