h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So... last night Lorna starts off on one again. Abuse, threats and then physical assualt... I hit her back. And it would seem I hit her back quite well. As she was bleeding from her mouth and maybe elsewhere. I contact the housing manager to get some advice, she calls the police. They came and they arrested me on suspicion of ABH.
Lorna will probably do all she can to take this to trial.
Great.

Hi, Stealth. I just came for a lurk and saw that you're having a really tough time emotionally at the moment.

I've no idea who Lorna is, but I like you and hope that things start looking up for you soon. I know what it's like to suddenly lose it and do something out of character. From what you've said in your journal, your pills aren't exactly helping at the moment, and maybe you could point this out to people.

Lorna is another resident at NERd where I live when I'm in Haywards Heath.
For along time she has been persecuting me. Firstly by stealing my food, them by giving me verbal abuse, this developed into threats and more recently she combined abuse, threats and violence towards me.
This time I struck her back.
I do not have a history of violence. I tend to take any agression out on my self.
I was simply defending myself, she attacked me and without thinking I retaliated. I had no idea how much I had damaged her until some time after it.
How much injury I caused will possibly be the determining factor in wether the CPS think it should go to court.
If she tries to take it to court then the record of her previous attacks on me will hopefully be helpful in the defense as there are no witnesses.

Hi Stealth!

I don't know what the law is like over here, but they always told us in my self defense classes that you have the right to hit back, as long as it's just enough to get you out of the situation.

If there is a record of her attacking you, and this time you just happened to hit back, chances are it's not going to go to court. I'd put money down that if it went to court, you would be in the prosecutor's chair.

I thought I had just done enough to get her off and away from me. But it seems I did enough to make her bleed and although not dilibrate could be used against me.
I really don't need the stress of a possible court appearence. I'll have to talk to my doctors and see what they can do help. I've asked the staff at NERd to prepare copies of my complaints and incident reports regarding her previous actions towards me.

My solicitor and the police nurse both felt that it shouldn't be taken to court, but I want to make sure I am prepared for the possibility.
I am also going to step up yet again the pressure on SOHA to end Lorna's tenancy at NERd.

oh dear!



Well

You are a messed up guy and I hope that you get things together and in your head soon, for yourself.

I don't think you should have hit back at all, in your current state of mind its still unexcuseble to lash back at another person whether female or not, altho that is easy to say from here...

You perhaps should have recognised the need to leave the vicinity before it had escalated that far and called the police or doctor on her..again easy for me to say in retrospect

*sigh*

I think perhaps you should sign yourself in for treatment if they'll have you, I mean what harm can it do...and you get free meals and meet nice people albiet with problems of their own, but still nice people just waiting to get out...

Ah dunno, just some thoughts and honest ones at that....I hope you are not too offended and upset by them

It's my opinion that I should not be un a house where my safety is compromised.
If my doctors thought that the Villa was the right place for me to be they would have asked me if I wanted to go in.
I've walked away from her before. I didn't get a chance to make a choice, I was under attack and was defending myself before my thinking mind was aware of what was happening.
I was doing my washing up before going to my room to avoid Lorna who had already tried to provoke me earlier, I knew she'd be back with more abuse and threats.

You're right- you shouldn't be in a house where your safety is threatened.

And personally, while violence is not the answer, you did the right thing standing up for yourself. It's a shame that it got so far that the only option was to use your fists, but some people just don't understand anything other than force.

I've got such a flashy temper, that were I in your shoes, I probably would have hit back a long time ago... for better or for worse.

Your quite right your safety should not be compromised anywhere, but sadly for *everyone* we have to learn to look out for ourselves too and be in charge of our own safety.

That's dreadful that you can't do your washing in peace.

I hope you find better living accomodation soon

It's more likely that they will find Lorna elsewhere to live before they do me.
I'm going to get in touch with the project manager on Monday, I see if they can/will provide me with some sort of tempory accomodation. I don't fancy my chances. But I have to try.

That's true, they may find somewhere else for her, which is a good thing, right?

I wish you luck with finding your own place too, however..

I need it. I was only expecting to be spending 3 to 6 months at NERd. It's closer to 17 now.

Yikes.

It's definitely worth a shot- If you've got as many incident reports against her as I think you do, they'll need to separate you for your protection.

I think they are planning to do as little as possible. Put staff on for an extra two hours a day. Meaning staff are there from 9am to 11pm, and hope that Lorna has gone to bed by the time they leave.

That's no good! I would hope they do a little more!

I agree. She has assaulted me whilst the staff has been in the house before. So unless they are to accompany me whenever I am in communal areas of the house I can't see having staff there for just a couple of hours longer is going to change her behaviour. Also after they have gone, what if she actually carries out her threats of getting someone she knows to come and give me a beating? Or she tries to kick down my bedroom door again? Or something else.

She tried to kick down your door?

I've got to echo the statement made earlier- good luck finding a new place. No one should ever *ever* have to live with that. Unfortunately, the only way I'd be able to help is if you got a student visa and came over to Akron.

Yep, I came out of the shower room and into my room and the next thing I know she is trying to kick my door down!
Now yes she is Alleged to have mental health problems. But these Alleged problems are Anxiety Disorder,(this is her sole diagnosis and yet she will loudly and agressively proclaim to be "more ill" than anyone else in the house).
I in all my time at that house have seen no symptoms of this disorder in her. What I have seen a extreme histrionic behaviours, attention seeking, compulsive lying, manipulation and agression. These suggest she has one of the antisocial disorders.

You have far more experience with that than I do- I've never even taken a psychology class, so there's nothing I can really say, with the great exception of get the out of that house while she's still in it. This is like the bad cases of domestic violence I've seen through my mom. She's a third grade teacher in a poor area, so she gets at least one kid a year who gets the living daylights beat out of him or her on a regular basis. The sheriff department usually gets involved, though there was one case where the father sued her for giving his kid a bad grade on a test, which made him beat the kid. It was thrown out of court and the boy was placed in foster care, of course. I remember going to the door with her whenever she heard a noise, because the family was large and had a history of violent crime, and it is no secret where we live.

Sorry- late at night. I'm just rambling.

Mmm. One of the SHOs I saw under my old consult was rather infuriated that I was more familiar with criteria for diagnosing various mental health disorders than he was. Very conceited man, from one of the African nations where doctors expect to be and are treated with awe, a "terrible bed-side manner" feel sorry for those that now have him as their GP.