h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The Gundecks are quite quiet at the moment, with only a minimal Gunnery crew and Rating loaders on station. Vast gun batteries line the endless weapon corridors, ready to arm and fire at a moments notice.*

#The Tall marine with red armour walks in and looks about. To his satisfaction he discovers that one of the store rooms has been converted into something resembling an office. Upon entering Gregg finds that it has lockers full of bolt guns, assalt cannons and such alike lining the walls. There is a desk in the centre of the room which is bare apart form a document lamp and a dockument. Walking over to the desk Gregg find that the document is for him.

Summary of Military Personel and Equipment
Numerous Imperal Guard
3 Armoured Personel Carriers
2 Dropships
1 Long range cannon
3 Walker Support craft

Gregg does not like this situation. He'd have prefered tough, armoured Marines over the Imperal guard cannon fodder, particually for a trip into space such as this one. But the powers that be are far to stingy to cover that sort of expence. He'll have to do with what he got. What use are cannon and walkers on this sort of trip anyway?#

*One of the Gun-Captains proceeds over to Gregg, a grim look on his face.*
[Gun Captain] I have a problem. My weapon batteries are off-line. I requested a maintanence team to assist repairs, but I've got nothing. I don't suppose you could assist us? I'm in charge of Battery 3, Section 5/D.

[Gregg]I'm pretty much useless at mechanical matters, I'll go and chase up an engineer

[G.Cpt 5/D-3] Thankyou, sir.

*An Engineering team proceeds to the damaged Weapon Battery, and begin to work. A Red-robed figure, covered in bionics, steps forward. A Servitor stands behind him, waving incense.*
[Tech Priest] Begin the Litanies of Maintenence!
*The group begin to chant in Latin, as the Engineers inspect the weapons.*
[Tech Priest] Now, strike the thrid rune on the Plasma Cannon's casing, and commence the Rites of Plasma Egnition.
*As the third Rune is struck, the weapons flare back into life. The Tech Priest turns to the Gun Captain.*
[Tech Priest] My work here is done. The Engineers will ensure the weapon functions correctly. May the Machine God bless your armaments.

Okay, so, what do I do?

[G.cpt 3/B-1] Sir! We have a problem with the Targetting array on Battery 1, section 3/B! Also, Section 2/A, all Batteries report that their munition stores have not yet been filled.
[Engineer] One moment, we're still working on this one...

Okay, get those munitions flled A.S.A.P.

*The vessel rock as weapons fire hits the shields.*
[G.cpt 3/B-1] Are we under fire!?
*The combat alarms begin to ring.*
[G.cpt 3/B-1] Frag, we are! Get those targeters alligned!

Sector A3, fire at will!

#As soon as the trouble starts, Gregg pulls out the radio used to communicate with the communications troopers of the imperal guard.#

[Gregg]I want a team to the bridge, 5 to engeneering, 3 to the gundeck, 3 to the torpedo bay and 3 to the launch bays. ..

Leave them behind...

Stay there, repel borders and don't stray from your positions

[G.Cpt 3/A-1] Target aquired! Fire as she bears!

*A volley of Plasma Annihilator blasts punches through the shields of the nearest Infidel, vapourising it in a reactor overload.*
[G.cpt 2/C-2] A kill! A good and solid kill!

#the space marine smiles grimly at the kill

Ship bearing 357-2, target and fire!

[G.cpt 3/D-1] 357-2 aye!

Stand by, sectors D5 thru E2!

*Another volley rocks the ship. A Macro cannon battery on the Starboard side score a powerful hit, totally destroying the Pirate's engines, and leaving them crippled and adrift.*
[G.cpt 3/D-1] Target destroyed!
*Alarms signal the all clear, as the final Pirate retreats the battle. Damage reports are passed along, but nothing serious.*

I want all weapons above 90% efficiency, make for'ard and broadsides the prioritys.