A Conversation for Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
Peer Review: A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
broelan Started conversation Apr 3, 2003
Entry: Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA - A984288
Author: broelan -ask me how YOU CAN HELP my friend! (don't forget the CHICAGO MEETat A595163) - U155058
i picked this up from the flea market a few weeks ago as i was planning on visiting chattanooga. i was there twice last month briefly and have attempted to combine that experience with the information i gathered there and online, as well as the original entry. i wasn't able to salvage much of the original entry because i found it rather negative.
for comparison, if you like, the original entry can be found at A418754 and the original review thread is at F51669?thread=213432
A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
broelan Posted Apr 5, 2003
*inconspicuously pokes thread back to top of list in case it has been overlooked*
A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
Number Six Posted Apr 5, 2003
It hasn't! Sorry, I was going through it yesterday but then got busy at work and had to leave h2g2...
The initial signs were very good - I liked it as far as I got! Will be back later...
A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
broelan Posted Apr 10, 2003
*subtly pushes back to top of list*
*offers free 
and 
to any lookers* 
A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
Number Six Posted Apr 10, 2003
As I said, I like it! Everything that follows is merely minor haggling over the detail...
Everything looks very good to me - the only thing I'd change about the content is "served as the beginnings of the community that is today Chattanooga, Tennessee". I'm always very wary of using a 'today' because they can date entries quite badly, even though a 'today' in this context isn't going to date because the name's not going to change... in this case using a 'today' jars a little, simply because you know it isn't going to be called something else tomorrow - how about 'the beginnings of the community that eventually became Chattanooga'?
On an even more picky note, it'll save the Sub-Ed from having to do it if you could remove the apostrophes from your decades (1920s instead of 1920's etc) - just a minor Writing Guidelines thing - and also put full stops at the end of each footnote.
After that it'll look pretty damn perfect, by my standards...
Cheers,
Number Six
A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
Number Six Posted Apr 10, 2003
*munches noisily*
And I must say, this is excellent...
A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
broelan Posted Apr 10, 2003
i've reworded the first sentence, as well as the bit about ruby falls (removing a footnote as well). also removed apostrophes and added periods. thanks for your feedback! more cake?
Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!
h2g2 auto-messages Posted Apr 15, 2003
Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.
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Number Six Posted Apr 15, 2003
More , Broelan?
Great entry!
Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!
broelan Posted Apr 20, 2003
yay!
thanks so much!
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Peer Review: A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
- 1: broelan (Apr 3, 2003)
- 2: broelan (Apr 5, 2003)
- 3: Number Six (Apr 5, 2003)
- 4: broelan (Apr 10, 2003)
- 5: Number Six (Apr 10, 2003)
- 6: Number Six (Apr 10, 2003)
- 7: broelan (Apr 10, 2003)
- 8: Number Six (Apr 10, 2003)
- 9: h2g2 auto-messages (Apr 15, 2003)
- 10: Number Six (Apr 15, 2003)
- 11: broelan (Apr 20, 2003)
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