A Conversation for Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Peer Review: A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Post 1

broelan

Entry: Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA - A984288
Author: broelan -ask me how YOU CAN HELP my friend! (don't forget the CHICAGO MEETat A595163) - U155058

i picked this up from the flea market a few weeks ago as i was planning on visiting chattanooga. i was there twice last month briefly and have attempted to combine that experience with the information i gathered there and online, as well as the original entry. i wasn't able to salvage much of the original entry because i found it rather negative.

for comparison, if you like, the original entry can be found at A418754 and the original review thread is at F51669?thread=213432


A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Post 2

broelan

*inconspicuously pokes thread back to top of list in case it has been overlooked*

smiley - ok


A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Post 3

Number Six

It hasn't! Sorry, I was going through it yesterday but then got busy at work and had to leave h2g2...

The initial signs were very good - I liked it as far as I got! Will be back later...

smiley - mod


A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Post 4

broelan

*subtly pushes back to top of list*
*offers free smiley - tea and smiley - cake to any lookers*
smiley - smiley


A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Post 5

Number Six

As I said, I like it! Everything that follows is merely minor haggling over the detail...

Everything looks very good to me - the only thing I'd change about the content is "served as the beginnings of the community that is today Chattanooga, Tennessee". I'm always very wary of using a 'today' because they can date entries quite badly, even though a 'today' in this context isn't going to date because the name's not going to change... in this case using a 'today' jars a little, simply because you know it isn't going to be called something else tomorrow - how about 'the beginnings of the community that eventually became Chattanooga'?

On an even more picky note, it'll save the Sub-Ed from having to do it if you could remove the apostrophes from your decades (1920s instead of 1920's etc) - just a minor Writing Guidelines thing - and also put full stops at the end of each footnote.

After that it'll look pretty damn perfect, by my standards...

Cheers,
Number Six

smiley - mod


A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Post 6

Number Six

*munches noisily*

And I must say, this smiley - cake is excellent...

smiley - mod


A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Post 7

broelan

i've reworded the first sentence, as well as the bit about ruby falls (removing a footnote as well). also removed apostrophes and added periods. thanks for your feedback! more cake?
smiley - cake


A984288 - Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Post 8

Number Six

*gulp*

Don't mind if I do...

smiley - mod


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 9

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 10

Number Six

More smiley - cake, Broelan?

Great entry!

smiley - mod


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 11

broelan

yay!
thanks so much!

smiley - cake


Key: Complain about this post

More Conversations for Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more