h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome to the school section of the Young Researchers' Club.

Stuck with an essay?
Is your head whizzing from all the maths that's been hurled at you?
Don't know the difference between alliteration and sibilance?
Can't remember who kills whom in To Kill A Mocking Bird?
Don't understand your exam set texts?
Does glaciation have you running for the safety of your bed?

We are here to help you! That doesn't mean we'll do your homework for you, but we'll certainly help explain. If we don't know then we promise to find you someone who DOES. If we don't then you are free to get very cross with us.

Kat

I have to write a non-chronological report.
The problem is I don't know what to write about!

What exactly do you mean by a non-chronological report?

A non-chronological report is a report that isn't in time order like most of the H2G2 Guide Entries.

Ah, I see. Well, what's the assignment exactly? Is it for history or for English or something else entirely? And what are your parameters?

Hmm well hopefully dr M did his homework in the end

Anyone ever studied poetry by Philip Larkin? I'm having an awful time of it! Anyone who just happens to be interested, it's a collection called "High Windows". Philip Larkin was a controversial poet from the middle to the end of the last century. He wrote poetry that was very challenging and mocking of the times and had a bitter edge to it. Lots of swearing, talking about death, the cycle of life, loneliness and the like.

Are you sure that Phillip Larkin isn't a pseudonym of Marvin? That sounds like the sort of poetry he would write....

It's truly annoying stuff!

An example! http://www.plagiarist.com/poetry/?wid=390

Uhh, okay....

Never read anything by him (except the one you just linked to), but he looks a bit cliché.

That's an essay topic: how writing to shock (which is what it seems Larkin is doing) has been done by so many people that now it doesn't shock anymore.

Did my homework eventually

That's taken a huge load off my mind!

Come on, everyone, it's good to do your homework. Just look at the excellent example of this upstanding young Researcher.

I'm doing it I'm doing it!!! I've done MORE than I needed to do for Maths! I'm actually not reeeaaaallllyyyy doing my geography right now though as I'm writing an entry that I started ages and ages ago and really feel I ought to finish. It's about Franz Liszt!

*cheers for Kat*

just finished with my biology lab... w00t!

maths

*pass around * this calls for celebration!

Hooray! I never liked biology. I've always had a huge hang-up about the idea of all these things happening inside me. I like to pretend that I'm a being of pure light energy

Just finished my report...

I got 5 out of 5

Well done! Although making something out of 5 seems a strange way of marking

I'm doing....graph geometry, managing coast lines, and that blooming philip larkin stuff still

to everyone!

The marking out of 5 thing is common in certain American courses, as Advanced Placement courses are always graded on a five-point scale and 5 remains a popular round number for grading small assignments.

To my extreme surprise, I got full points on the most BS assignment I think I've ever written. Goes to show you what my English teacher is like, I guess.

I'm supposed to write a satire for school, but I don't feel very satirical at present. Does anyone have any ideas?