A Conversation for Day of days
Collaborative Writing Workshop: A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Started conversation Feb 11, 2003
Entry: Day of days - A951329
Author: Captain A.J. Rimmer, ACE, Scout and space adventurer - U189740
I've not come very far but I really would like peoples opinions on what I've written to this point.
I might have made some mistakes or explained too hard or too little.
Mind you- it's far from finished.
A951329 - Day of days
The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy Spaced Out Edition Posted Feb 12, 2003
maybe
A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 12, 2003
What kinda maybe?
(ie stop talking about maybe)
A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 12, 2003
Do you actually have a suggestion?
(and I think there might be 3 or 4 kinds)
A951329 - Day of days
spook Posted Feb 12, 2003
i'll read it through properly and comment and sugets changes etc at the weekend for you.
A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 12, 2003
thanks- I think its either 5 or 6 MAYBE more though...
A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 16, 2003
Not the most active single thread here.
A951329 - Day of days
Oberon2001 (Scout) Posted Feb 16, 2003
Actually, this probably is the most active thread in CWW! CWW has become something of a graveyard recently.
Can I suggest you put this through a spell-checker? And also, that you proof-read it. Just so it is easier to understand.
Also, the title of the entry doesn't really tell the reader what it's about. Can I suggest you change it to "Operation Overlord"?
You might want to mention that most of the junior soldiers involved in Operation Overlord weren't exactly well prepared or well trained, as they had either just been drafted or just finished training. Most of them hadn't seen active service before D-Day.
Maybe a reference to the fact that the operation wasn't a huge success as far as the para-troop regiments were concerned. They got dropped in the wrong place half the time and some were shot out of the air. Can't think of much else at the moment... there were these vehicles that ferried troops from the ships to the beach, but their name escapes me...
Nice entry. Hope it gets into the EG!
Oberon2001
A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 16, 2003
Well sure it wasn't such a huge succes for paratroops but they did make a lot of succesful victories during d-day and the days following and they did suceed in their main goal, cutting off supply lines, even if it took some time to find all their companies.
I know 101 was scattered all over Normandy but I think the british ones did better- or am I talking crap?
Most of them hadn't seen active service yet, but most of them had been training quite long, I think the paratroops trained for about a year, some two years.
I'll check spelling later, now I'm waiting for opinions until I start writing about d-day itself.
Thanks alot for the help!
A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 21, 2003
Alright, finished part on Juno beach.
Inputs anyone?
A951329 - Day of days
Oberon2001 (Scout) Posted Feb 22, 2003
Me again!
I quite like the fact that you've changed the title, more people will know what the entry is about now.
I just wondered why you didn't put in anything about the para-troopers lack of success in terms of where they were dropped and the resistance they met, etc. And also about soliders not having seen active service (though they had been training for a year or more some of them)
Other things -
- The first letters of all months should be in capitals (ie, June not june) . Ditto World War Two right at the beginning.
- Don't use exclamation marks two paragraphs in a row. Looks a bit .
- My point about spell-checking still stands, make sure you do it before you go into Peer Review, otherwise you'll get a *really* long posting from someone about it and it'll make the entry look bad when it really isn't!
Like I said before, I really like this entry and think it'll be a worthy addition to the Guide. Well Done!
Oberon2001
A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 23, 2003
The Paratroops are coming but I'm not there yet- I still got two beaches left then I'll wright about 101st and others.
I'll spellcheck it finally.
Thankyou alot, glad you like it so far!
A951329 - Day of days
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Mar 1, 2003
I think it's done for PR now, anyone disagree?
A951329 - Day of days
Rübezahl, hillgiant by profession Posted Mar 2, 2003
If not this what else!!!
great, great, great...
this expands my lesson in history kind of. Yes sir.
TFtF
RBZHL
Key: Complain about this post
Collaborative Writing Workshop: A951329 - Day of days
- 1: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 11, 2003)
- 2: spook (Feb 12, 2003)
- 3: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 12, 2003)
- 4: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 12, 2003)
- 5: The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy Spaced Out Edition (Feb 12, 2003)
- 6: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 12, 2003)
- 7: spook (Feb 12, 2003)
- 8: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 12, 2003)
- 9: spook (Feb 12, 2003)
- 10: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 12, 2003)
- 11: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 16, 2003)
- 12: Oberon2001 (Scout) (Feb 16, 2003)
- 13: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 16, 2003)
- 14: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 21, 2003)
- 15: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 22, 2003)
- 16: Oberon2001 (Scout) (Feb 22, 2003)
- 17: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 23, 2003)
- 18: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Mar 1, 2003)
- 19: Rübezahl, hillgiant by profession (Mar 2, 2003)
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