h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*smiles coyly at Terran*

I hope you're not talking about me? I think you're hot! *fondles match lovingly...*

Of course not...

You're not bad yourself...miss?

Drink? *indicates to the bar staff that he would like two drinks*

Don't worry Yankee-shoes I do remember you

hahaha, Terran's picking up on Yank. That's //funny//.

*As frequently happens in such awkward situations, a time portal appears in the corner, and just out of chance a 10 year old Terran - with big Brown eyes - walks out*

Young Terran : What happened to me? *Looks at geriatric Terran, tears appear in eyes*

Terran :

AWWWW!

*becomes distracted by cute li'l Terran, forgets all about the one sitting next to her*

*Offers the ten year-old Terran some cigarettes*

If we get him hooked at this age, think how much easier he'll be to defeat by the time he's grown. Light up, little buddy. Light up.

Young Terran : Mum says they're bad for me... is she right?

Terran : *still in shock*

*Mixes up a good old fashion BoE style *

Here little Terran drink this erm...soda...

C'mon over here, li'l Terran, and meet my friend, Mr. Bullwhip...

Jade: Nonononono, Terran dear. What you have to learn about mommies is that they are very frequently incorrect. Now do as the nice man says and light up.

*Chortles.*

Legion, you just reminded my why I find you the most quotable person alive...

HI everyone!

It's been about one bazillion years since I posted here, but I just wanted to see if I could find some supporters for my campaign to become President of h2g2. My campaign headquarters are at A5780757 and you can learn more about the election at 5571434. THANKS, and I hope Chauncey and I have your vote!

Darth Zaphod

*randomly posts* Yeah so AI walks up to me the other day and says "I smell like a chicken. My spoon is too large." Then I realize where he got this random line. And I nearly cry in my pants because of the implied humor.

sorry, DZ... I love you (ish), but I'm all about Clive. Thingite to the core, original BoE-er... you understand it's not personal, but I must kill you now...

I'm shocked, but I'm going to be the bigger person here.

*runs away*

DZ

*Smiles at the motley assembly of patrons.*

Wise move on her part, I believe.

*Watches on disturbed as his younger self becomes horribly corrupted...*

It's all this sex and violence in video games that to blame. It's really a shame.

*Nods.*

That and us. We're pretty bad influences, you know?