The h2g2 Post 18.03.24

Created Feb 21, 2024 | Updated Mar 16, 2024

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Posted: 18^th March 2024

This week's title is A Planetful of Skies. Clockwise from upper left: A stone pillar in Copenhagen marking the distance to various towns in Denmark, a Spanish landscape with palm trees and snow-covered mountains, lenticular clouds above rooftops in a Scottish town, yellow plum blossoms with a visiting bee in Austria, a cartoon image of a blue pencil wielding a sword and fighting an armoured manuscript, a great white egret in a marsh in England, and an English town with a double rainbow in the sky.

Slow down, you move too fast.

You've got to make the morning last.

Paul Simon

You people move too fast. You read too fast, too. It's not all your fault: the times are not only out of joint, they're downright pushy. Everything you see online is geared toward chivvying you along. Hurry, hurry. Read this, laugh at that, click to agree, click to buy. Don't stop and think because then, we might have to get clever to try and fool you. Besides, you want to save your energy so that you can figure out if that family snapshot is photoshopped.

(By the way, the Adobe company is fighting a futile battle against the use of 'photoshop' as a verb. Oh, you sweet summer children – that boat has already sailed. Kleenex and the Xerox corporation send condolences.)

The h2g2 Post this week is your sure cure for overexpeditious reading. If you read too quickly, you will miss things. Important things. I will give you a list of questions. Questions that can only be answered if you read this issue with the care and attention it deserves. Here goes.

What bird is SashaQ asking you to spot? Where is it?
How many toads did Tavaron relocate?
What equal-opportunity worry have the kids got in Caiman's coming-of-age novella?
What discovery did FWR and the taxi driver make?
What kind of clouds did Paige see in Scotland?
Which of our contributors got married, and where?
What is unusual about Tavaron's rose?
What did Awix particularly hate about this week's Netflix movie?

That ought to keep you busy.

I hope you'll enjoy the toad porn video. And the rest of the fiction. And the humour, the quiz, the cinema review, and all the other features that make the h2g2 Post better than the New York Times these days.

Please leave nice, friendly comments for the contributors. And please send me your photos, video clips (we DO have subscribers, you know), and general Stuff.

And have a glorious week, wherever you find yourselves.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

Cover for The Building, DG's new book, available from Lulu.

Cover for A Crime Has Been Committed, the latest omnibus book, available from Lulu.

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Awful Pun of the Week: By Chaucer Doth Tweet
Ich reade that two different groups of cicadas are goinge to be active at the same tyme thys year yn an absolutelye historical moment for noisye bugs. Ich wonder why their schedules are off thys way? Mayhap thei did something to mess up their CICADIAN RHYTHM.