Do you get defensive reading editor comments?

– Some writer on Twitter.

I completely misread this question. I found this out by reading the replies. In the replies, the writer's followers indicated that they did/did not have a 'defensive' reaction to editor comments. In other words, the question was about whether they, as writers, got mad when editors queried their sentences, questioned their word choices, or made comments that began with 'Consider. . . '

'Consider' is a bête noir of mine. How am I supposed to 'consider' rewriting the sentence or paragraph in the following way? Does the client want that or not? Can I usefully say, 'I considered that when I was writing it. Then I saw it for the bad idea that it was'? I do not think that will wash with most editors. I usually just make the change – and then let their boss yell at them that they should 'consider' changing it back. Thank goodness for 'Track Changes'.

Anyhow, when I misread this question, I (mis)understood the author to be asking about 'defensive reading editor comments'. Aside from wondering how a 'reading editor' differed from other kinds of editors (perhaps copy editors), I thought the editor in question was leaving defensive comments.

I have actually SEEN defensive editor comments, which is why I thought of that. One manuscript got forwarded to me a few years ago with the request that I 'do something with this material.' I was required to read it first.

The 'Track Changes' comments were enlightening, but one of the editors in the group had an interesting style. First, they pointed out a problem. 'Don't say this,' they warned. 'It violates the guidelines.'

A few paragraphs later, the writer said the same thing. 'Don't say this,' the editor warned (again). Fair enough – the writer hadn't seen the comments yet.

On the next page, the same undesirable verbiage appeared. 'Stop saying this!'

Finally: 'I TOLD you to stop saying this!' I had to take a laugh break.

As you perhaps know, I've been editing this ezine for about a dozen years now. Nobody else wants to do it. I don't mind. Most of the time, it's even relaxing. But sometimes, in the middle of fiction season, I do tend to make 'defensive editor comments' to myself.

Sophie lay on the bed; still. As her mind ticked over, analysing her surroundings everything seemed to be in order and yet somehow it felt different. Not that she was too bothered, juggling college and a full time job had become spectacularly challenging of late and frankly she was glad of the rest.

I stole this quote off of Amazon. That semicolon made me duck under the desk. Then her mind 'ticked over' and I thought what? That whole sentence ran on and on, without a mitigating comma. She wasn't 'too bothered', making me one, realise that Sophie was an English person, and two, think of Catherine Tate in a school uniform – but oh, that sentence. The comma after 'bothered' represents a totally illegal move. That, children, is what you call a 'run-on sentence.' It's called that because it runs on, and on, and on, leaving the reader in a state of sad bewilderment. By the time you get to the end of it, you can't remember where you started. You're lost in the woods without a map.

I'll bet that's a good story, too. Unfortunately, I will never read it. Even though the price is very reasonable and I like a good yarn. My brain simply can't manage to hack its way through the underbrush of belligerent punctuation.

The reason you need punctuation is to help readers navigate the words. It's not an elite thing: no snobbery is involved. You need it because you're trying to communicate. If you aren't, you're only talking to yourself – in which case, have fun. But if you want somebody else to enjoy the story, you need to figure out the rules.

• Don't use commas to try to trick two complete sentences into hanging out together. The reader will get confused.
• Don't throw in random semicolons because somebody said they look intellectual. Find out what they're for or leave them out altogether, as I usually do.
• Never end a sentence with a comma. Why would you even DO that? I ask, looking at no h2g2 writer in particular.
• Don't decide you can make up your own rules, such as using some other symbol instead of quotation marks or dashes. Nobody died and left you in charge.
• Do read your own writing OUT LOUD to your housemate and/or confused pet. Think of the punctuation marks as a guide. If you get confused reading, go back and change them.

If you have Word, you can get it to read to you. This can be funny. The AI that does this will mispronounce all of your characters' names – unless your character is named Jack. Half of the characters in this year's h2g2 stories seem to be named Jack. (This is a lie: one of them is called Spot, and several of mine are called Cleo.)

Anyway, defensive editing can be like defensive driving: a useful skill to develop. Try it out.

PS This is talking to myself as much as anyone else. You should see what my Stuff looks like before I've read it aloud and realised I used the same phrase three sentences in a row. On second thought: no, you shouldn't. That's why I edit and rewrite.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

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