Episode 10

Wilson Woodhed had spent most of his life trying to attract the media's attention, but sometimes enough was enough. This was one of those times. He had been hounded by them about the Nebraska crisis throughout the night. Eventhe public was getting on his nerves. Frantic calls about relatives or loved ones in Nebraska had jammed the White House switchboard. In some ways this was a blessed relief because they blocked public reaction to the world's various ongoing wars, or the public outrage over inflation, investigations of prominent politicians of the other party, and the government's overspending on a wide variety of things.

So Saturday morning found Wilson Woodhed in an uncharacteristically reclusive mood as he sat with his wife Wilhelmina in the Burger Download Restaurant a couple of blocks from the White House. 'I need to get away from the madness so I can think about solving this crisis,' he had told her.

'You're just going to bring your own madness with you,' she had said sweetly. 'But, hey, I'd like to escape this place too. How about Burger Download? They have clowns, Cheery meals, and customers who think the coffee is too hot or too cold.'

'What if someone recognizes me?' Woodhed said.

'Just come as you really are, and no one will recognize you.'

To Wilson's surprise, this was turning out to be a brilliant idea. Without the false chin, elevator shoes, and makeup that he always wore in public, he was just an average Joe with a weak chin, short legs, and pasty complexion. As for Wilhemina, disguise took the form of leaving her platinum blond wig behind and wearing jeans and and 'I'm with stupid' T shirt. The four Secret Service men who accompanied them looked like the gangsters in the average movie about organized crime figures. Or maybe they were bodyguards for actors who didn't want to be recognized. It all worked out the same in the end.

Unfortunately, Wilson and Wilherlmina had been here for half an hour and no ideas had presented themselves. Wilson's Gigabyte Gourmetburger sat uneaten on his plate as he wrestled with his demons. Wilhelmina was worried about Nebraska, but she was also relieved that she wouldn't have to deal with her scary mother-in-law as long as the state was missing. She cheerfully dug into an Eggcitement Omelet and two URL of Sandwich croissants. When those were gone, there as still a Surf's Up fish fillet sandwich on her plate, but nothing to wash it down with.

'I could use more coffee,' she said, getting up. 'Can I get you anything?'

'Coffee for me too, dear,' he replied.

Although she was only gone for a few minutes, there was still time for three clowns to amble past his table and drop a small white object on the floor next to him.

'Excuse me, you dropped something,' he said, picking the object up and hurrying after them as they turned the corner to the rest room. They couldn't have been out of his sight for more than ten seconds, but when he rounded the corner they had vanished. They weren't in the men's rest room. If they were women, he sure wasn't going to look in the women's room. The object was a small, crumpled wad of paper. Was it important, or just trash?

Paulh

18.03.24 Front Page

Back Issue Page