h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

5th

Creepy van driver.

The van pulls up, no words are said.
Just those dead eyes in that head.
The face so pale, black bags so deep,
Vampiric stare makes flesh creep.

I'm sure he's just a normal guy,
Wife and kids, loves apple pie.
Morgue-like pallor haunts my sleep
Vampire driver's such a creep.

I've never seen him in the day
It's always dark when he drives my way.
Vampire drives the neighbourhood
On the hunt? Smelling blood?

Im sure it's just imagination
Tired while driving cross the nation.
Bags and paleness - lack of sleep?
But why no words from the creep?

A foreign driver, maybe shy?
I'll try to sign hello, goodbye?
Nothing. Nada. Not a peep.
Vampire dreams still haunt my sleep.

Then at last in bright of day
Vampire driver comes my way.
Black eyes gone and face all tanned.
"Got a flat, mate, lend a hand?"

"Don't often see you in the day'
Bloody night shift, killer eh?"
I nod, agree, my feelings mixed.
Vampire van is quickly fixed.

"Thank you mate, see you then,
Bloody nights next week again!
I know we don't talk much when we're sleepy,
But glad to know you're not that creepy!"

With that the vampire drove away.
What was that I heard him say?
Strange to think that lack of sleep
Can make us all a vampire creep!


"

Strange to think that lack of sleep
Can make us all a vampire creep


Nice ending. Profound in fact.

If I've been a bit on edge, I'll confront myself in the mirror, and say..

I think perhaps you need to sleep
You look like Freeway's vampire creep...