The h2g2 Post 02.10.17

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Posted: 2nd October 2017

First Fruits and Harvests

Buzzardina giving the Editor the Stink Eye.This is Buzzardina, the other kitty at the Post Office. She's all black, which makes her a good Halloween cat. It also makes her a bit harder to photograph than Molly, the grey-and-white Editorial Assistant Kitty. Buzzardina's real name is Isis, but she's usually called Buzzardina because, well, you know. What does she answer to? Excuse me, you do know what a cat is, right? Buzzardina answers only to her own inner imperatives. Which about now are telling her that she wants Molly out of her hair. At 18, Buzzardina is too old for this wrestling business. Now you've had your cat picture for the week, so you can appreciate other animals – like Freewayriding's adorable dog Opie, who provides us with a caption challenge this week. You'd rather see a horse? Will a zebra do? Willem's painted one, and he's even posing with some, the lucky guy. There are perks to life in South Africa, such as being allowed to get up close and personal with a horse in striped pyjamas. Enjoy the wildlife this week.
Adenia glauca.We have many things for you to enjoy in this issue. You may have harvested fruits from your garden, as Willem has from his winter garden. At the Post, we've harvested some pretty clever material from our contributors. What? You think that's a hinky analogy? The Editor will have you know that prowling around h2g2 and snatching up Stuff – not to mention hounding the Core Team for pics and such – is very much like harvesting okra. Maybe you've never seen okra growing. First, it's a tiny nubbin, hiding among the huge leaves on the stalk. Within a few days, though, it has grown amazingly. If you don't pay careful attention, in a few more days, it's a giant Thing as hard as wood, suitable for carving. So you have to be sharp about harvesting okra. Our contributors' work ripens on- and offsite, and it's just as tasty as okra. Okay, I'll stop now, before this metaphor gets too far out of control.

Anyway, we also have a lot of food for thought:

  • Quizzes and more quizzes. You'll have to think hard. Your brain can use the exercise.
  • An Awix review. We know he'll make you think. This week, Awix ponders the question of what a critic's opinion is worth.
  • A beautiful photo from Cactuscafé that will make you rethink the way you see the UK land- and seascape.
  • A short story by Freewayriding that may give you brain freeze. We feel obligated to point out that, like Dragnet, the story you are about to read is true. The names have been changed to make sure FWR is still welcome within the Liverpool city limits.
  • Dragonfly and marsh flowers.
  • We have humour. Some of it is actually funny. (It has been road-tested on real humans.)
  • We have. . . ta da. . . a new Create Challenge for October. It involves accessing your inner child. 'Think like a 12-year-old,' they said. Well, you can stretch it a few years either way (or, in the case of 2legs, more ways), but come up with something cool and kidlike. Or dragoon an Actual Kid into doing some ghostwriting for you. Usual rules about swearing and spitting apply, though we're pretty sure that 'poopyhead' can get past the filther.
  • We have some early Create stories for you: the Prof thinks about principles that apply to both young and old, while FWR recalls an acquaintance who was truly young at heart. Meanwhile, Minorvogonpoet rounds off the September Challenge with a wild card story. Our literary corner shows us how not to be a children's poet – we think all our inner children will agree that Eugene Field was a poopyhead. There, I've said it, and I'm glad.

As usual, this is a lot to digest. Pace yourselves. You have a whole week to read, comment, and think about future contributions. But remember to go out and look around. Autumn is upon us, a time to be savoured. Don't watch the nuts on the news: watch the squirrels instead!

Next week: The h2g2 Post goes completely bonkers! Surrealist postmodern philosophers and insane writers and artists have taken over the publication! You're going to need two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters to survive this one!

Dmitri Gheorgheni

  • Common zebra by Willem.
  • Opie the dog relaxing on a pillow. He's got the remote, too.



  • Two flags and a jail cell door.
  • Topsham, Exeter, seashore with clouds in sky.


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