h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*carefully watches the other "players" faces and body english when He...Met asks the gardener about the antiques*

Jeeves, you were the one who told Mr. Body he had a call. A call that you apparently believed was important to interrupt his dinner party. Who was on the other line, and what did they want?

Nevertheless, Harry, before the dinner party that box of antiques was a cloth-wrapped bundle. Did you actually go out there and polish silver during the dinner party? And if not, who are you covering for? (am i spilling too much information here? I am new to this)

I might have gone outside for a moment sir, once Mrs McBiscuit told me to get out of her kitchen. I took some air sir in the vegetable garden, and I may have gone for a little rest in my shed sir.

Could someone please go with Mrs McBiscuit to the potting shed to sniff out if there is any smell of silver polish?

Clare, you weren't here before the dinner party, how could you possibly know what it was?

Are you referring to the cloth-wrapped bundle? If so, I read the room description first, before the action even started. For some reason that detail stuck out, perhaps because it was so - contrived? I also remember the chained books in the library, perhaps because they reminded me of the Library at Unseen University. Something fishy is afoot here, He...Met, something fishy.

>>"(am i spilling too much information here? I am new to this)"

The instructions do give a warning to questioners:
"...be careful, your fellow researchers are also trying to find the truth. If you get too much information out in the open, they might guess as well."

Can anyone remember what room the candlestick was in originally? Chances are the description for it will no longer be there and I don't remember mention of candlesticks anywhere, but I am sure one or more were mentioned.

There are silver candlesticks in the Dining Room, but if I'm not mistaken the description of the Drawing Room implies that the candlestick in there was always a part of the mantlepiece.

Ah, yes, thanks *shakes head* This is a sorry state of affairs, very sorry indeed. All that lovely Duck and Crispy Veggies gone to waste! Sad Sad

I have questions for Harry.

I know you are long past retirement age and have worked here for some time, but can you tell me:
exactly how long have you been the gardener here?
have you have held any other jobs for Mr Body in the past?
have you ever been married or had children?

I have a question for June.

I know you have been making lots of personal appearances to publicise your book and that you are currently jetlagged. Can you tell me:

Which country have you most recently visited on your publicity tour?

I have questions for Jeeves

There are lots of padlocks around the house and out buildings. Where are all the keys kept?
This is an old house and it must need a lot of work. Who is responsible for repairs and maintenance of the house? Is it another member of staff who isn't here at the moment or do you just employ someone locally whenever there's a need?

I have a question for Simon.

You and Abel were Army buddies. Did you see active service together, and if so, where?

I have a question for Maria:

You're a busy lady and life seems very hectic, yet you made time to come to the dinner party. Did you know who the other guests would be?
How do you find time to see your family?

I have questions for Marisol:

Who else, apart from June, has read your manuscript?
How long were you and Abel together?

"What can you tell me about Miss June Somers there? "

Miss Somers is Mr Body's girlfriend sir. I've only known for for a year or so and alas can't tell you much more about her.


"where were you when the murder occurred?"

I was in the kitchen sir, with the cook.


"There seems to be some books missing here *Gazes up at bookcase again*"

I think you will find those books are by the armchair madam.


"Has Mr. Body been suffering from a medical condition recently?"

Not that I know of sir. I believe the Warfarin to be Miss Somers.


"Who was on the other line, and what did they want?"

I do not know the other party personally sir, only that in the past when they have called Mr Body had been insistant on taking their calls.


"There are lots of padlocks around the house and out buildings. Where are all the keys kept?"

I have a full set to the house, as does Mr Body. Cook had a set to the cold store, but lost it a while ago. It was rarely used so Harry broke it open and replaced it with a new padlock.


"This is an old house and it must need a lot of work. Who is responsible for repairs and maintenance of the house? Is it another member of staff who isn't here at the moment or do you just employ someone locally whenever there's a need?"

Most of the odd jobs are done by Harry, if we do need something more specialist then we do indeed contract a tradesman.

This must be very difficult for you, Jeeves. How long have you worked for Mr Body?
Also, I cannot see very well here, can you tell me if there is a lock on the chain that was on the books, and if so, is it unlocked or broken or in what state is it in? Do you have the key for the lock? Also, I cannot see the names of the books that are now on the table. Could you be so kind as to read them out to me as well as the authors? Thank you so much.

*Marisol stirs*

Who else has read the manuscript? Abel read a few pages when I first started writing it, but he seemed to lose interest after a year or two. But Juno, she read it. She kept asking and asking and asking until I gave in. It was still not quite finished, you see.

How long were Abel and I married? A few short, but very happy years. I never understood why he left me for that... that... harlot. It was so sudden and unexpected, and he never seemed... dissatisfied or... unappreciative of what we had together. That... that... cow must have something on him. It's the only explanation.

*Marisol narrows her eyes*

That doesn't explain why she would kill the goose that laid the golden eggs though.

*She swings round to Maria* You! You've been embezzling, haven't you? Those pearls you are wearing cost far too much money, and they are new, aren't they? Is that why you won't say no to this two bit arms dealer here? You are so desperate to hide the fact that you've stolen the funds earmarked for a proper deal? Abel found out and you killed him!

Ah Abel, Abel.

* Dissolves into tears again*