A Conversation for A seasonal haiku challenge.
a springy thing
SiliconDioxide Started conversation Apr 5, 2012
winter's last frost bites;
crystal teeth ring breaking buds
welcomed in bright sun.
a springy thing
Sol Posted Apr 16, 2012
Nicely done. I like 'frost bites' as a verb phrase rather than the noun. Clever! I can see that I need to pack more into my haikus. That's wonderfully rich all round.
a springy thing
SiliconDioxide Posted Apr 17, 2012
Thanks for the feedback, especially since it is positive!
It is entirely possible to write doggerel in 5-7-5 form, but I try to not. Here's an autumn entry from my journal in Nov 2009:
Green summer has passed.
Yellow and orange mark the path,
winter is coming.
a springy thing
SiliconDioxide Posted Apr 17, 2012
And just for fun, I rewrote your haiku:
Advancing sunrise,
Slanting light through window panes.
Wakens baby's cry.
Sorry about that
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a springy thing
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