A Conversation for A seasonal haiku challenge.

a springy thing

Post 1

SiliconDioxide

winter's last frost bites;
crystal teeth ring breaking buds
welcomed in bright sun.


a springy thing

Post 2

Sol

Nicely done. I like 'frost bites' as a verb phrase rather than the noun. Clever! I can see that I need to pack more into my haikus. That's wonderfully rich all round.


a springy thing

Post 3

SiliconDioxide

Thanks for the feedback, especially since it is positive!

It is entirely possible to write doggerel in 5-7-5 form, but I try to not. Here's an autumn entry from my journal in Nov 2009:

Green summer has passed.
Yellow and orange mark the path,
winter is coming.


a springy thing

Post 4

SiliconDioxide

And just for fun, I rewrote your haiku:

Advancing sunrise,
Slanting light through window panes.
Wakens baby's cry.

Sorry about that


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