h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If I may be pardoned a quote from my very first contribution to h2g2, written on a wooden keyboard by candlelight:

"Tails grow out of the back, not merely to reduce the hazard of tripping, but to remind one of where one has been. The fact that human beings, for the most part, no longer have tails is indicative of their total disregard for the past."

And, if I may be forgiven a further quote, this time from the very fourteenth thing I wrote:

"For the cost of a few extra vertebrae, mankind could enjoy the good looks and obvious benefits of having tails. For tails are not merely glamourous accessories; they are often extremely useful."

In for a penny, in for a pound:

"Even those not interested in extending their spines for the purpose of hanging upside down must acknowledge the practical advantage of a third prehensile appendage. Who amongst us has not looked back longingly with an armload of groceries? With both hands free, a person could learn to knit during those monotonous hours at the computer; and tightropes would be everywhere!

"If, on occasion, squirrels seem a little smug, and gibbons altogether too bloody much to bear, human beings have only themselves to blame. They have given up such a lot for the sake of trousers."

JT(relatively toothless)G

Another posting from someone who feels that coming down out of the trees was a mistake in the first place...

YAY! I want a tail! it would be great fun.

Jimix(sp?) U have a great line there "another person thinking coming down, out of the trees was a bad idea"

I only 'borrow' from the best...

...in this case, the late, great Douglas Adams himself.

... not to mention the aesthetical potential : a new appendix to wear fashionable items, piercings, etc.
Hairy, if possible, to allow perm and dye, long/short variations, etc.

Tail-wear, anyone ?



Connie L., fashion advisor of the Cyberworld

Another great benefit is that eveyone could tell what mood you were in from the moevemnet of your tail - just like cats and Dogs. You'd instantly know if a guy liked you because his tail would start wagging! I leave the more obvious comment to the next person!

Who passes it like a hot spud-like to the next person...

If I may also hazard a quote from the best:

"don't pick it up... pick it up... pick it...!"

JTG

Two-plus feet of snow here. I could use a tail to hold another shovel...

We just caught the tail (ahem) end of that storm.

JTG

Nothing to say, Jimi?

A tail for the telling perhaps?

I have been campaigning for the return of the prehensile tail for a while now. It has all kind of potential uses, keeping the loo door shut when in a stall where the lock is broken, another way to keep hold of you drink, and of couse a useful answer to the the daily struggle of trying to get out your keys while holding your shopping/hanbag/phone.

All good points! I can't honestly think of a good reason not to have one... except perhaps riding a bike.

JTG