Welcome to Version 1.1!
I'm afraid the whole code's been re-jigged, so you'll have to write it out again, but on the plus side there are lots of new categories and they are all arranged in a slightly more relevant order.
Stop Press: Liam is writing a code parser which will translate blocks of h2g2 code into plain text. Please subscribe to this page to be informed of its launch.
As you may be aware, several imitations of the PGP Code block have cropped up for various circles of users, the most famous being the Geek Code, used by a multitude of very sad people as signatures for their emails. So, of course, it was decided that it was about time we had a H2G2 Researcher code block. Feel free to use this in your Personal Space, email signatures or whatever else you see fit.
The H2G2 code block begins as follows:----BEGIN H2G2 CODE BLOCK----
And likewise, ends:-----END H2G2 CODE BLOCK-----
To avoid confusion, the Version Number of the code should be placed immediately after the first line.
Each category, placed between the version number and end, is designated by a letter, or a pair of letters, followed by a modifier, in the form of multiple plus or minus signs. Each modifier is well defined within the terms of the category (see below).
In addition, the following modifiers can be used:
'@': This category is variable. For example, someone who loved the original 'Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy' book, but didn't like 'Restaurant At The End Of The Universe' as much, may describe themselves as: [email protected]
'()': Used for special instances of variability. Someone who loved all the Hitchhikers books, but still thinks Terry Pratchett is better, may use: B++(-)
'*': Means 'I am embarrassed, ashamed or annoyed that I fall under this category.' Someone who is s++* is obviously working hard to lower their smiley usage.
'$': Indicates that the user gets paid1 in connection with this category. An italic would describe themself as: RGB$
'>': Indicates aspiration. Therefore a normal nighthoover devotee, who aspires to actually become nighthoover him/herself, would use nh+>+++
'<'2: Used in a similar way to describe one's past exploits.
'?': Hasn't got a clue about the subject in hand. Someone who described themselves as T? would (thankfully) not know who the Thingites were.
'!': Placed before the category, it says 'I refuse to include this category. It's a dumb category, and the different options are stupid, so I'm going to sulk.'. I expect this to be used frequently, given the number of complaints I get.
Each category (+modifier) in the code is separated by a single space.
I am a British Researcher
I am an Irish Researcher.
I am an American Researcher
I am a Dutch Researcher
I am a Scandinavian Researcher
I am a European Researcher (and not specifically listed above)
I am an Australian Researcher
I am a Researcher elsewhere
Anyone of dual or ex-patriot nationality can use multiple modifiers. Eg: RGBAu.
Years as a Researcher
I've been here more than three years.
I've been here more than two years.
I've been here more than a year.
I've been here less than a year.
I've been here less than six months.
My name is composed of several, mutable constituent parts indicating rôles on h2g2, recent activities and the time of my next dental appointment.
I like to change my name to indicate what I'm up to, but not so as to confuse anyone.
I occasionally put something in brackets after my name.
I guess it's not set in stone.
People should choose one and stick with it - anything else is just confusing.
You mean I don't have to be "Researcher 199065"3 forever?
That lovely pale white background just fills me with peace.
I am an Alabaster user.
I use Alabaster to avoid getting caught on h2g2 at work, but don't particularly like it.
I am the BBC design team
As a gadget maniac, I wouldn't dream of switching from Brunel.
I am a Brunel user.
BLUE IS GOO! GOO IS BLUE!
I am a Goo user.
If only everything in life were this plain and simple.
I use Plain.
|I have a digibox, but if I didn't I'd be altering my preferences faster than you could say, "Where's the flaming search box gone then?".|
Combinations are quite permissible within this category. For example 'SA-G' would indicate a user of both Alabaster (necessarily at work) and Goo.
Jim Lynn keeps sending me emails asking me not to clog up the database.
I can happily spend two or three hours posting random things and not notice where the time has gone. I am fascinated by the workings of the 'Refresh' button.
I spend a lot of time online, and keep coming back to h2g2 because it's full of great people.
I spend a lot of time here, but it's not as if I can't log off whenever I want.
I wander in now and again to keep in touch with people and read some good new entries.
I don't come here often - there are better things to do with my life.
This category is written in two parts, separated by a colon. The first refers to posting length, the second to posting frequency. Therefore, 'P:++' would refer to someone who posts average length posts with sufficient frequency to regularly make the 'Most Postings' list.
I am Barton : I am Saturnine.
I regularly get onto the Longest Postings list : I regularly get onto the Most Postings list.
I have a reputation for being verbose : I have a reputation for being a chatterbox.
I consider myself to be an average poster.
I stick to short comments : I don't post much
I write mostly one-line posts : I am a Lurker (see 'Lurking' below)
This code is the longest thing I've ever posted : You can make postings here??
Other Researchers never see me but always feel my presence. I travel on an ethereal cloud of data by subscribing to askh2g2, Peer Review and h2iq but never saying anything.
I have a tendency to lurk more often than I post. It is not uncommon for me to subscribe to a conversation from the beginning and then start with a huge monologue at post 50.
My contributions to conversations mostly consist of posts consisting of a single smiley.
I want to make sure my viewpoint is valid before posting, therefore I usually hang back.
I am fairly impulsive and make myself heard. Lurking is a bit too 1984-esque for me. I want to know who's watching me.
I barge into conversations (often without even reading the backlog) and post whatever is on my mind, even if it's rude, badly spelled, irrelevant or patently unfunny.
I don't reply to posts, I just Yikes them.
I miss pre-moderation. In fact, I aspire to be a Moderator.
Can you imagine/remember this place without moderators? The mere thought of the anarchy makes my legs go trembly.
I'm glad we have moderators - it stops people from being offensive.
I'm not bothered one way or the other.
I wish I could post in my native language
Those asterisks and missing posts can be irritating and make conversations difficult to follow.
Moderation really gets on my wick. It is entirely contrary to freedom of speech. I do my best to comment on this at every opportunity. I'm making rude signs at you all right now to see if you Yikes me.
I carry on entire conversations using only smileys. I can survive for weeks eating nothing but the food and drink smileys. I think words are obsolete and hierolyphics are due for a comeback.
I've memorised the smiley list and use most of them regularly. I find it easier to type <cuddle> than to express real emotions. I get frustrated when smileys on h2g2 are missing on other sites.
There are a handful of smileys I use regularly, but never more than one a paragraph.
I don't use smileys much, but that's just me.
Smileys just irritate me. They're a poor substitute for real emotions. And as for people giving each other smileys... get a life already!
I am an Ace, Guru, Sub-ed, Scout, University Researcher, Post Editor and anything else I can possibly volunteer for. I am rumoured to be
top of the list for the vacant tea-boy position at Bush House.
I have one or two volunteer positions and am enjoying them thoroughly.
I gave up a volunteer position through lack of time/I have a volunteer position which is frankly hard work.
I am not currently a volunteer.
I'm not a volunteer - too much like hard work.
I don't particularly want to be a suck-up to the Towers or boss people around.
I habitually write entries on anything that interests me, lots of things that don't, things that people have randomly suggested to me and stuff that seemed like a good idea at the time. I live to headline the Front Page.
I have written or contributed to a good handful of Edited Entries on interesting subjects, and was proud to see them make the Front Page.
I've written one or two Edited Entries, which other people thought were good.
I've never written an Edited Entry, but I will get around to it some day.
I can't really see the point of writing entries - I enjoy the community too much to waste time on that.
I am Gnomon
I subscribe to Peer Review and try to comment on every entry. My life is devoted to picking out typos, dropped clauses and dangling participles. I have a Grammatical Dictionary on my desk just to make sure.
I come in fairly regularly, read all the entries that look vaguely interesting and make a few insightful or educated comments about each one.
I am a Scout. It's my job to do this sort of thing.
I will comment on entries if a friend has asked me to, or if I feel I can really make a difference.
I don't come into Peer Review often. I don't feel it's my place to suggest improvements on other people's work.
Never! That fish on a bicycle just freaks me out!
I am Shazz, or another Editor
I am a regular or frequent contributor.
I'm ready every Thursday to read it in detail and have contributed before now.
I peruse it most weeks.
I sometimes pop over and read the good bits.
I only read it if there's something I particularly want to see or I'm really bored.
I speak to other Researchers all the time. I don't need to read their waffle every week as well.
I subscribe and consequently spend three hours every morning sorting out my Conversations list, then Googling the subject matter to see what obscure knowledge I can pass on.
I come in between other conversations, pick up on any thread that looks interesting, and add my tuppence worth.
I am a regular contributor.
I come in regularly, but tend to only read or lurk on most threads.
I don't go there that regularly - most of my conversations start elsewhere.
I don't see the point, it's only a lot of Researchers showing off.
The Hitchhikers Books
I have memorised every word of the trilogy, can recite Vogon poetry by heart, and can not only remember Trillian's Earth telephone number, but have tried ringing it.
The h2g2 books are some of the best books I know. Normally I just chuckle when reading something funny, but here I died a thousand deaths laughing.
My password is 'Marvin'.
I've read the books; they are nice.
Terry Pratchett is better.
The books are silly through and through. Some nice jokes, but absolutely no story.
The Hitchhikers TV Series
I own copies on video, DVD and LaserDisc. I am convinced that David Dixon is the best actor ever, and am in love with Sandra Dickinson (or vice versa).
It's funny, and faithful to the original.
I've seen it, it's just not quite as I imagined it, that's all.
It looks cheaply made and a bit shoddy, frankly.
I haven't seen it.
The (Original!) Hitchhikers Radio Series
I was riveted to every word, and started my unhealthy obsession with all things DNA from that instant.
I own a copy on CD, and continue to distribute copies in order that the legacy might live on.
I haven't heard it, but would really appreciate one of those copies.
What's the point? The books were a refinement of the radio series, and therefore must be better.
I am Douglas Adams4!
I knew Douglas Adams personally.
I once met Douglas Adams.
I spoke to Douglas Adams online.
I never met Douglas Adams
I never met Douglas Adams, and didn't ever have the desire to.
Who is this Douglas Adams? I thought DNA stood for de-oxyribonucleic acid.
I have printed out new calendars reading Sodit, Wimpy, Wibble, Thing, Poets, Doobry and Dontbry. I have contributed more than 500 posts to the 'No No No' thread, and thought up at least 5 hare-brained schemes.
I attack people with a spork on a regular basis. My life was complete when the spork smiley was introduced.
I am continually impressed by the length of the 'No No No' thread, and make myself heard every now and then.
I got swept up in the rush, and can't get away from them.
They're too weird for my liking.
What a bunch of plonkers! This scary cult thing is just daft beyond belief.
I am nighthoover. I have returned!5
I am 2legs
I am a major player in the cult of nighthoover. I know for sure in my heart that one day the great one will return. Lettuce spry.
I believe that nighthoover will return, although I am certain he/she will be puzzled by the reception.
Frankly, I couldn't give a stuff whether this being comes back or not. And how will they know what shape to make the nighthoover smiley, anyway?
Get a life, you people! Stop scaring the wits out of this poor person.
Including things such as Keepers, Muses, Procrastinators etc. etc.
I started a cult and am now worshipped as God by all the members of such.
I started a cult, or am a major player in a cult, and an appreciable number have joined. I know in my heart that one day we will become a major force on h2g2.
I am a member of a healthy number of these.
I started one, but only my friends joined.
I hate the idea of h2g2 being cliquey. I'd rather spread my good feelings to everyone.
Meet-Ups (Official and Unofficial)
These are the best way to meet Researchers. I've organised one, or helped to organise one, and been to as many as I can!
I've been to more than one meet-up, and enjoyed myself thoroughly.
I would like to come to more of them, but my real life keeps getting in the way.
I haven't been to one yet.
They all happen too far away for me to make the effort.
Why on Earth would I want to meet these weirdos in real life?
Knowing Where Your Towel Is
I wear my towel in plain sight every day, especially Towel Day, on H2G2's birthday, and my H2G2 anniversary.
I make sure I have my towel on my person on Towel Day.
I have a towel that is "the towel".
I have a towel to dry off with.
You mean people have a special towel? What dorks! What is this Towel Day, anyway?
Towels are useless. I use a hairdryer.
Towels are archaic. I have a specially installed body dryer.
To illustrate what a block of h2g2 code should look like, here is the fully personalised code block for Master B:
----BEGIN H2G2 CODE BLOCK----
RGB>$ Y N++ SG>+ A++ P:++ L-- M+ s V++ E+ PR++ p++ a++ B+ [email protected] r>+ D T-- nh+ C++(-) m+ t-
-----END H2G2 CODE BLOCK-----
...Although, for security purposes, I should add that my password isn't actually 'Marvin'.
Entering in GuideML
The currently recommended method is inserting the entire code block in between nested <BLOCKQUOTE> and <CODE> tags, then placing three <BR/> tags: one after the 'BEGIN' line; one after the 'Version' line; and the final one after the code itself. Thus far, however, this does not wrap neatly between categories.