h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*right have any of you got any spare film*

i forgot top bring any

ss

*Sigh*

You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on

*Gets out laptop and starts downloading files*

how of me its a digital vcamers

*starts taking piccys *

*hmm scarlet bending over thats one for my personal file*


*almost finished*

ss

*pulls down skirt*

Will be done in a mo and we can get out of here, is there anything else we need to do

an even better shot

you diddnt have to pull it down that far


thats better i can focus this shot now ta


ss

How about a shot of this

scarlet shouldnt we get back to photoing the files!!


ss

I meant the files

*hmm this looks interesting *

ss

This one's a map and a flight plan..........it's........OMG.........it's the BBC, they're going to nuke the BBC and it's signed by...........Anthea Turner AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGG

*Downloads files onto PDA.* Doesn't resemble any technology I've ever seen, but the human is incapable of creating technology such as this... wait a minute... They're planning on perpetuating BoyBands all over the planet! This plot was responsible for the downfall of several of the greatest, most intellignet, enlightened, advanced, and peaceful civilizations in the galaxy!

She can't be doing this by herself

*franticaly serches through papers*

No there's another name here it's...........Ulrika Jonsson, they're planning to clone, Westlife, Boyzone, Take That and Blue and then they're going to take them on 'dates' where the Papparatzzi will see them and from there they will be constantly on the front pages of all the papers so they will never be forgotten, if one day goes by without them in the papers they will flood the TV and radios with non stop concerts by the Boyband clones, if that fails they drop the bomb, the material is not nuclear it's designed to change time back to the 80's back to Mulletts and Sam Fox hairdo's, ra-ra skirts and shell suits, and Spandau Ballet, The Fiends!!!!!!

*Faints*

*Waves smelling salts under Reef's nose.* hopefully we can stop them, but if we can't, perhaps we could enhance that effect so that we go back in time to the 60s. Black Sabbath, the Beatles, Led Zeppellin... might be good.

Sounds good to me, quick we must try and stop them we'll disguise ourselves as reporters from Hello they wont be able to resist

*s off to find their addresses*

*Activates a Hello reporter clothing hologram.* How do we explain how we ended up inside?

Do Hello Reporters need an excuse to photograph publicity seekers like them

*Also dons Hello reporters disguise*

It's a long time since I did this, I'd forgotten why my code name's Scarlet

And why is that? Hello is that magazine that interviews celebrities, right?

Yep they're the ones that pay for celebrity weddings, baby pics, birthdays etc, they were the ones sued by Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas for the wedding pics

*Turns to the mad supervillain who has just walked in.*
Hello supervillain-san! Would you like to comment on your fiendish plot to take over the world?
Well, I don't really think I should...
But we are from Hello magazine! No one is going to believ a word we say! If you give use your story, when you carry out your plot it will be the last thing people expect!
Well, OK then. We're going to use a huge machine to turn every male on the planet into a member of a boy band, so the women will have to come to our dedicated studs for satisfaction and the furtherment of the human race, and we will educate the children our own way so we will rule the world.
Very good! One thousand thanks, supervillain-san.
Wait a minute, aren't you Dr. Johnson.
No no no, Supervillain-san. This s the real Dr. Johnson. *Flashes the real Dr. Jihnson's ID card.* and she is most definitely not Titan Nuts. Saké?
Well, I don't know...
Oh come on, what will it be hurting?
Well, OK. *Drinks it and falls unconscious.*
OK, now do we kill him, leave him be, or take him back to base for questioning?

Hello?