h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* hits creachy in face.*

MMMmMMMmmm, yummy.

*throws a case of 's at them both, but takes one out for himself first*

*throws at creachy*
*eats *

*sets up a table in the middle of the battle field with a nice red and white square tartan cloth. a jug of and plates knives and forks.*

we may as well have a meal

*lou runs to the Really English Akash Tandoori House on RD and throws delish curry @ everyone

thats it!

*pulls out a small keypad that has one red button right in the middle of it. presses the button and from under the newly set up table comes a rumbling. two huge side panel doors open and the table and chairs plunge into an abyss of darkness. when the doors come to a halt the tip of a large missile begins to emerge.
during this time creachy has escaped via a hidden space craft that has shot into space.
the missile continues to grow from the hole in the ground and a new rumbling begins. smoke billows from the crevice and emense heat from the thrusters scorches the grass on the ground nearby. the missile slowly launches into the sky, straight up, which means it will fall straight down!*

hows that for imaginative?

... food fight?

OK, you want "imaginative"

*ahem*

*Listy-Lou runs and retrieves the card from her sky digibox. She bends it in half and removes a small jeweled golden box from the ankle pocket in her jeans (i do actually have one). The box is smooth with no sign of an opening. Listy-Lou slides the skycard into an invisible hole along the side and hears a satisfying click. The box glides open and she smiles. A small but perfectly formed pink lily grows from the box. It unfolds itself, so smoothly that it seems almost natural. Unfurling the petals, you find a red ruby. Listy-Lou removes it and lifts the hair behind her left ear, removing a red hole. She slots the ruby into it, and opens her mouth. A machine gun comes out, and she shoots everyone with it*

(good enough?)

*claps, safely in his space ship. watches the missile fall back to Terrania.*
Mwahahahahahahaha, we got them this time mr biggles!

*mouth machine gun bullets so powerful that the missle is suspended in mid air and slowly forced upwards...*

*seeing this, creachy pulls out another small panel. it flips open like a laptop and displays a screen with various touch controls. creachy starts sliding his hands over these controls furiously. on the missile extra thrusters begin to fire up. the missile is now manouvering with the ease of a car and begins to take evasive action against the bullets. intercepter barrels spring from the nose of the missile and start shooting down any bullets that are heading for the missile. the missile enters Terrania atmosphere and accelorates.*

*listy-lou goes offline, thus winking out of online existinance ...

*Just as the missile is about to hit the ground Tosh, using his trusty piece of timber, hits it in a manner befitting the likes of WC Fields (he was the cricketer wasn't he, or was that Gracie). The missile immediately flies off into space and hits a small spacecraft containing a megalomanica MP, obliterating both the missile and .*

"That's a six I think!"

*Pi**es into Tosh's mouth, then runs away very fast.*

*winks back into online exsistance*

*screams very loudly, piercing the ear drums of all men and dogs*

*Shoots Listy, then goes to get a bionic eardrum.*

*ducks bullet, catches it and throws it at 500km/hr at the eardrum*

*Hits it back with a baseball bat*.

*catches it*

HOWZAT?

*returns after 2 days of floating in space. sustained by his self sustaining spacesuit and re-entering the atmosphere in a mathematical collage of estimates and predictions to avoid burning up.*

where did tosh go

Tosh was scared and ran away.

*weilds bat*

*takes out hockey stick*

en gard!