h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hay no fair......
*hands lou some more lipstick*
youve smuged it a bit their
*kicks Hussassan on lhe leg*

*runs in and clotheslines lou and stunners anthea*

IF YOU SMEEEEEELLLLLL, WHAT THE CREACHY, IS COOKIN!

nice to see you again creachy
*runs at creachy waving her sword*

*takes up the preying mantis strike pose and makes a weird oriental noise*

hiaaaawwwwwooooooiieeieiiiawwww

"Ah Creachy, my mortal enemy (well maybe the copper who banged me up), we meet again"

*Adopts hard northern b*****d fighting pose i.e. stood there with large piece of timber*

*changes tactic at the speed of light*
*useses a swipe kick on creachy*

*creaks neck from side to side.*

so tosh(said with venom) you return from exile.

*shifts pose to the crane and and glares at tosh*

eeeeeeeeeechi

so theirs somthing going on between you two then......

*looks up at subheading.*

eh? who is attacking rimmer? as second in command of gazpacho i demand an explanation.

*returns to norma pose of biped*

me and lou were atacking rimmer
but he started it.....

*pulls out 2 kalashnikov automatics and opens fire on lou and anthea*

*ducks behind bulit proof sheld*
*throws granade at creachy*

*commando rolls away to the left and lands flat on his stomach, shielded from the grenade blast by a lump of ground. throws 2 cluster bombs over head to anthea and continues to fire, restricting her chance of escape.*

*runs over to lou*
*shoots at creachy*

*stays down and avoids fire. makes a darting run to a lrge fallen tree and uses it for cover. just under the tree trunk is a rocket launcher....someone must have dropped it?*

how handy

*lines up sight at fires at lou and anthea*

what a b*****d
*Anthea and lou run away as far as posable*
*throws a petrol bomb at tree*
*bomb explodes destroying rocket launcher*

OW! that hurt.

*shifts along tree to unburnt part and resumes firing with kalashnikovs, whilst radioing for an air strike to flatten their position. b-52 bombers come screaming from the sky and lay down a carpet of daisy cutter bombs*

thats not fair i thought this was ment to be an equil battle feild

nothing to stop you calling in an air raid. you're just bitter cos i got there first

*throws a bowl of fruit at anthea*

food fight is it
*throws at creachy*