h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the guardroom's busy, people moving,
why aren't they grooving, to the music,
it makes me sick, all these relationships,
some song said i'm sure, now close the door,
we have a prsioner.

he is a vogon, not as strong as Hogan,
but his poetry sucks just as bad, and i've had,
enough of his crying, why isn't he dying,
after all of his torture.

threaten his life, perhaps with a knife,
and get some information, while listening to U2 Elevation,
that is my order, while i'm standing on the border,
of reality and insanity.

so u'd better listen to me, you see,
or it'll be you in the chair, feeling square,
and no-one will care, as u get a scare,
while you're bare, and people can see all your hair,
i hope you find that fair.

so get too it dudes, have some fun,
cause it won't be long,
'till duty calls, and you'll be gone,
and battling on the battlefield for the army,
so don't be barmy, eat the salami, and win for the army.

spook

*Looks at Spook*

*Looks at the Vogon cowering in the corner*

*Looks back at Spook, shrugs*

I think he might want to talk, either that or he wants his mum

Reefgirl

Mutter!

Reefgirl

He has been strange after the fondue party. So dont mind him. *turns to the vogon* Would you like a cup of tea or something like that?

That might explain the poetry

Reefgirl

might have a customer for you in a minute reefgirl.
his names frederick. he's new and he just violated a thread battle against me by using elven weoponary when i am sure it was a cutlery battle. naughty boy. i have just got to go pull these arrows from my breastplate then i go get him.

creachy mp to the

p.s down with bush

Hey reefgirl he is a mutant. He came out of my fire. The battle was anything goes as long as it follows the rules and it did. Lets just put that behind us because I got a couple things to talk to you about. *walks into reefgirl's office and sits down on a chair* Are you head of the ARRTMP or whatever its called? If not I would like to apply for that position. The Vogon does not seem to be talking so I can't figure out what to do.

ah i see. going above my head are you . well get back to the battle. i aint finshed with you yet.

What do you mean by going above your head?

Boys boys please one at a time, ok Fred I am head of the MP's but not the Armed Rapid Responce unit, you're the head as you are the only one Creachy I don't know that battle I haven't been there yet if someone can point me in the direction of it I'll have a look, you may have to take this up with your Brigadeer's, ok

<star Reefgirl

too late i killed him. but it is in the ultimate world war zone thingy. i think arwen has just turned up.

THE PHENOM

Yes ma'am. So does that entail a promotion? I think it does. So with this kind of work do I get my own office such as the ARRT thread? I think that would be cool and I will talk to Terran telling him that we have positions open for that if you think thats a good idea. I am going to ask you for your opinions still because I am not really a head person yet but I am getting there.

I can't do anything about promotions that's up to Brigadeer Rimmer but you can start your own thread I did and tout for recruits on other threads or in the battlefield hope this helps

Reefgirl

OK ill check into it. hold on.

Am I still Supposed to be Here?

No your sentence ended a week ago, of course you're always welcome to pop in and say hi

Reefgirl

OK...HI!

Reefgirl, Tosh should be coming in soon, he's been arrested for stealing supplies.

Ok Ralph I'll let you deal with this, see how you get on by yourself, I will be observing tho

Reefgirl