h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's why I will stay unmarried. My ex-gf just told me she is with child, (Not mine, we broke up six years ago!). Better any one else but me.

TV's Frink, I believe the Rambling Misfits require a marriage guidence counsellor and a sexologist.

Meanwhile I will have a lovely slippery nipple cocktail please

TIME gentlemen please!

Last orders at the pie machine. Get 'em whoyle thur 'ot!

Marriage.

Pies are wise, and pies say:

Why spoil a beautiful casual romance by deciding to call the thing a relationship? It's a slippery road, with many a nipple cocktail spilt in the name of security.

Wise Pies

One slippery nipple on the..erm...rocks..err..coming up.

Black velvet please barman.

I'm not quite comfortable with the atmosphere in here... It feels like someone's going to play porno music... Ba da ba da ba baaaaaaa... ba. Ba da ba da ba biddly biddly beeeee.....ba.

None of that Mr.Boyles, put your trumpet away.
I think it's time to have some good honest bar-type stuff so let's have a game of 'round-the-clock' over at the dartboard.
Me first...

*boing* (dart ricochets off rim)

*thud* (next dart embeds itself in chipboard surround

*thunk* (dart wobbles but proudly remains in the 1)

Who's next up??

First dart sails magestically into triple 2

Foot fault

Whaddya mean. Arguement rages. This looks nasty.....

Marv feels obligated to step in at this point, being the Bouncer and all. Here... Have a drink TWF You too L&PP. Now let me see those darts. First one hits metal ring round the board, sails back and lands on Marv's foot.

*Paging Cannon Fodder, your expertise urgently required in the bar, nasty dart-in-foot situation*

Hmmm he's not posted for a few weeks so you'd better sit down Marv, this may take some time...

Loony lurks by the pool cue rack, drink in hand, in mouth, in hand, in mouth, in hand, in mouth.....

TWF Keep 'em coming. Looks like Looney needs a drink............. or eight.

Lance lurks by the bar, foot in mouth..

*Vladimir lurks by Lance, finger in pie.*

Git 'em whoyle thur....

Oh, my machine seems to be producing cold pies... Sucks finger..Urgh...cold rabbit.

*Examines darts*

So, are we on 2 or 3?

Foot.. Last I thought.

OK L&PP..you're on!Are you playing *old rules*,*new old rules*,*old new rules**new rules*,new new rules*or*Lets make the game over really quick so that the Landlord and the franchise can make a mint out of this pool table...rules*??
shazz

And are you playing pool or billiards?

neither, because the tables are in the lounge, as are the dartboards. don't worry, you can bring your drinks with you....

and don't forget to stop by the new karaoke room and sing your favorite hits........

I errrm appropriated the dartboard I'm afraid, but judging by the dart skills around here I saved you a lot of money in upholstery. Not to mention blood on the thick pile lounge carpet

Loony stops sulking. Rejoins the darts match.

1st dart 3, 2nd dart 4, 3rd dart 5.

Removes darts (and magnet)from dartboard.....