h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

when do I want to be .... when do I want to be .... when do I want to be????

I want to be in the Kingdom of No-Time .... where there is no when because there is no Time .... and oh no ....

what???? cor honestly, science fiction writers ... why do they have to ask me when do I want to be?? why can't they ask me what I want for supper? and when will suppertime be ..... I have no time for supper ..... I have no time! No-Time.

s'cuse me, I have to go either to a sanitorium or the AWW .... wait for me there .....

H

I never thought of it like that. Personally, I am waiting for supper...is that no-time?

no time for the present(would that be for xmas or a birthday)-time on your hands (where I can't see it?)-save time (any particular bank)no time Toulouse (always baffles me, as I never been there)-waste time (but! have I saved enough to be able to waste some?)-found time (to write this)time the (medication started working)

time to go (sodI'm off before the men in white coats come)

love it .. ....

ah yes .. Time ... and its three trusted advisors .. Parsley, Sage and Rosemary.

I trust the advisors ...I would like to meet them. I often say to myself ... do I have time to catch the next train? I'll just check with Parsley ...

And Sage is, of course, the wisest Fool...

and who is Rosemary? I ask myself ...

erm ... when the nights are long ...and I'm all alone .. in the zone of the seven moons

OK .. I think I left the ward too early ....

A2080054

new members always welcome (knock! err sorry! gibber before entering)

Hey, where and how do I post/contribute my entry to the competition?

Hello and welcome to <./>ThePost</.>.

Click on the link above and scroll down the page until you see a link:
Email the Post Team.

Click on it and a box should pop open so you can email us. Failing that, hover over the link with your mouse and you'll see the email address at the bottom of the screen.

If nomen est omen, you just *have* to tke part.


Bel

Hey.

Either click at the bottom of 's front page to contact us by email, or send your contribution to postteam-at-gmail-dot-com. (We write it this way to avoid auto-trollers and junk mail in our box.)

We'll get your contribution into an upcoming issue. (Probably the week after next. )

with our intrepid editor.

I beat you to it, Dmitri.

Thanks guys

I think my has broken down.

There are wires sticking out of it and it's making a strange burning smell.

Has anyone got a sonic screwdriver?

Try the props department. Or grab one from ATL's latest short story.

I'm hoping you'll get it fixed and tell us when you want to go to, MVP.

I heard the Type 40s are rather unreliable MVP.
Though you can fix that chameleon circuit if you try hotwiring the fragment links and superseding the binary binary binary...

Sorry, geek-head-overload

When all else fails, use your Irish screwdriver...

This, for those not raised in Pittsburgh, is a hammer.

and its a Manchester screwdriver

we just use a 14lb sledgehammer, so much easier

Sometimes a good bit of "percussive maintenance" does the trick.
Give it a good whack!

.. this thread is unfolding as a spontaneous time-travel drama of its own making .... ... we should submit the script to ... ....

there's one thing we might need though ...... (if I may lower the intelligence levels for just a minute ... )

hah! .. which links me in nicely to my plan ... ..concerning mvp's need for tardis maintenance ... which I shall now attempt to communicate ...

let us time-travel for a moment ... way back to 1963 ... I know the route because I was there before .. OK so I was only 8, but hey ... to those grainy flickering black and white first episodes ...with William Hartnell as the doc - ... and ........ oh no don't mention the D word ... e-x-t-e-r- ..... I said don't .... else I will hide behind the sofa all over again .. 'cept I was a girl so I was allowed, but my brothers hid too but they won't let me mention that ... ..

point is ....... my first memory of Dr Who is ... of course .....sonic ... not visual .. because I was hiding ... and it is of course the theme tune!!!

which is what we need here .. if this drama is to be complete .... ... and this is also my maintenance plan for mvp's tardis....

(incredible in fact, that theme tune .... one of the original pieces of electronic music ... pre digital, pre four-track .. I recently read about how it was created ... amazing ....

and it has the repetition .. like chant and psychedelic trance etc ... which affects the brain and can transport the mind to ... anywhere it wants to go ........ )

OK ....so here's the plan ...... let's stand in a circle then ..... around mvp's tardis ... we don't need synths or four-tracks ... we can do this thing vocally .....

needs a few us of us to start .... (phonetic music sound) do do do do do do do do ... now we hold the rhythm whilst the others do the high bit ...

do do dooooo dooooo dobeeeee do .... ....

what??? where you all gone???? where's mvp's tardis gone?????

OK be like that then ..... I'll go talk to Parsley ... (see post 4) or emigrate to planet A two zero eight zero zero five four (see post 5) .. or go ask William Hartnell what a chameleon circuit is .... or ... or ... go sulk behind the sofa .... ......

What an elegant and Whovian suggestion.

I was sure someone had done this, so here it is, from some professionals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtdGwiMtZ08

MVP, does that help your TARDIS?

(cactuscafe, you and I are on the same frequency as regards sonic healing - or why my starship sings...)

Oh, in case anybody's interested: I once wrote instructions for building a TARDIS:

A8737770