h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*transports in from the hive*

Ahhh... very nice. This will do splendidly...

*drones transport in and begin to mechanize everything*

*Anti borg monkeys pour in from the monkey shop, tossing around emp grenades, finding resident frequencies (thus causing the enemy to vibrate till he explodes), and, more or less sucessfully, unscrewing heads from their prospective shoulders*

*Mystrunner himself begins to de-assimilate using nanotech*

*stands up from sulking in the corner, turning on the green lightsabre she's still holding*

*swipes at a few drones, looking for a way to end the assimilation*

*the collective begins to adjust to the nanotechnology, though the monkeys seem to be presenting quite a problem*

*hundreds more drones transport in, with large nets*

Capture those creatures, and assimilate them! Leave the Jedi to me...

*looks towards shroom*
We learned from our previous encounter with you...fortunately, the borg are still fair in their conquest.
*takes out a new contraption, presses a button. A light-saber-whip, about 8 feet long, appears. Begins slapping it at shroom*

My gods

*jumps backwards out of the range of the whip, knocking it out of the way with her lightsabre as she does so*

*looks round furtively*

*one assimilated monkey, given a pair of wings by the drones, begins flying around the room assimilating other monkeys*

*cracks his whip*
But my dear shroom...have you not given thought to joining the collective of your own free will?? Think about it...think of the power you could have! *crack* And I promise you, the assimilation will be very much to your liking As my queen said...resistance is not only futile, but quite boring *crack*

It's okay...*dodges*...what's the use of being a borg when it's so much fun being *dodges* independent? Anyway, how can I be most wanted cat when I'm *dodges* just a dull drone? No thanks

*suddenly surges forward, parrying a crack of his whip, and aims for the handle of it*

*tries to lunge, but was taken a bit by surprise. Shroom succeeds in removing his whip hand, but receives quite a painful electric shock from the other one. 24 quickly recovers the whip with his good hand, while a drone picks up the severed hand and begins repairs*

Very impressive, young one. But I assure you, you wouldn't be a dull drone...quite the contrary, you will be one of the chosen 42. And you would be a personal favorite of mine...a trophy of sorts My first assimilated...and I hear the first time is the best

*Fred walks through the door and starts spraying the nano-technology with a pump filled with highly currosive acid.*

*the flying borg-monkeys start attacking Fred, many falling pray to the acid as they attempt to adjust their shielding*

By the way Shroom...if you joined the collective, we could help you find something you've been looking for...

Ouch

*gets up, rubbing the worst burned areas from the electric shock*

And waht would that be?

We have heard your call Mystrunner and forces for your relief are on their way. In the mean time we may be able to deal with this menace with this ....

*pulls an ancient sword of power from a long scabbard hidden on his back*

I am carrying Townsaver .... you might know it as the Sword of Fury.

*a low screaming sound emanates from the blade as if it is eager to engage in battle. Red Dog has to exert some force to keep it in check as if on a straining leash. The sword keens ever higher in frustration at not being unleashed on its foe*

*raises eyebrows*

That's looks nasty

*the sword of fury vibrates and screams in frustration*

It-is-it-needs-a-lot-of-strength-just-to-keep-it-in-check

Would-you-like-to-hold-it ?

Sorry- I thought you just said it needs a lot of strength to hold it?

*grips her lightsabre and looks worried*

*Townsaver's scream moves up an octave and the sword starts to drag Red Dog across the room towards the Borg*

Oh Oh

*decides moving out of the way would be a *very* good idea*

*Vomits noisily as he realizes the plan The Black Paladin gave him*

all right... I'll do it... But... it's so...EVIL!

*The last resort command of the nanoprobes is given as Mystrunner strikes one last time. Suddenly, the net awareness of the Borg collective is filled with the undying image of Michael Jackson, Al Gore, Richard Simmons, and Fat Bast*** doing the conga dance... in nothing but a few all together too tight thongs*

*Mystrunner vomits again*

*starts reading thread at ABSOLUTELY the wrong time.... *

I should let you all know that you are attacking a mercenary... I don't need a pretext to act here...
See, Myst! It all worked out...
*takes out his plasma rifle and attacks every collective thing in sight...*