h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Idiot!
Oops.
That's right. We already have a Navigator, a Science Officer, and a possibly Diplomatic Specialist. My bad.

Specific Vacancies: Positions and Posts
Pilot
Tactical Officer
Chief Engineer
Shipwright
Fighter Pilot/General Pilot
Security Chief
Security Officer
Investigative Agent
Ranger
Drill Sergeant

Ok, I notice you already have a Fred so I'll need to think of another name:

Eric Hofhine: A half human hybred. He has demonstrated telephathic abilities, which he inherits from his alien ancestery. He is shorter than most Humans, has white skin and his eyes are completely red.

He wears a black uniform and a black stole on which are red symbols from his extraterrestrial heritage.

(over the comm)
Congratulations, Mr. Hofhine. You are now on our roster. Please report to the Bridge.

Thankyou sir, I'll be on my way.

oh oh I want to be the Security Chief...or do I need to become a Security Officer and work my way up to the Chief position?

*Sounds of smashing glass are heard from outside.*
[Wesker] Quicksilver! Return that immediatly! It is very expensive!
[Quicksilver] Hey! I'm just borrowing it...
[Wesker] The last thing you borrowed is now lying smashed in the incinerator! Return that now!

"Careful, Quicksilver. That's one of the main fiber-optic relay crystals. Siid doesn't like it when you mess with her parts."

Augie: "Sure sir, you can get to be Security Chief. We offered Fred Regular, naturally, but he refused, saying he just wants to be a regular dick. You can sign here."

Captain: "Then report to Bridge for your briefing."

[Quicksilver] Fiber optic relay... What the frag'd you have one in your room, Wesker!?
[Wesker] ...

*Lone ork on warbike screams (quite literally) round the corner of the shuttlebay, and crashes into a pile of barrels in a split-second*
*Several other orks including Grishnak run round the corner after him, jeering and laughing as it get buried under fuel barrels*

Hey everyone! Just want to let you know that Heroes of Legend, my new fantasy RPG, is more or less ready to go! All I need is members. I'd appreciate it if you'd join up. Remember, it is Fantasy, not Sci-Fi.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A755129

*watches the orks in a bemused fashion*

oh, no! you clean that up now!

*Grishnak drags the bike away from the carnage and apologizes to Augie*
The boyz run off in a similar fashion to their arrival, but only after half-heartedly restacking the barrels - they know they're place.

Sigh..
Oh, I think they add some personality.

[lizzy] do they dance?

Grishnak: Only when theyre drunk...

[lizzy] i tend to fall over more

Orkses cant really dance dat well

i find dancing extrememly funny (when i dance that is). the only problem is that i'm buttock-clenchingly piss poor