The Brittas Empire - The TV Series
Created | Updated May 8, 2003
A major BBC sitcom of the 90s and, to date, Chris Barrie's only major TV success after Red Dwarf. It
charts the progress of Gordon Brittas, a leisure centre manager with a grand idea about the
creation of universal harmony through sport, but the uncanny ability to destroy any harmony he comes
across without realising it.
Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre1
A modern and well equipped leisure facility which is unfortunately rather underused. It
has many claims to fame from the Sebastian Coe Mens Toilet (opened rather reluctantly by the man himself),
to the fact it is the first leisure centre to be attacked by a Roman legion for several thousand
years (After a disagreement between Mr Brittas and the local battle reinactment society). It
has also rather unfortunately been burned to the ground and rebuilt on at least one occasion.
The Staff of Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre (and Mrs
Brittas)
Gordon Brittas [Manager] (Chris Barrie)
Gordon has a dream, a grand dream, to bring the nation's of the world together in peace and harmony
through sport. In order to achieve this dream he has worked his way through the ranks of
leisure centre officialdom, until finally reaching the level of leisure centre manager. However
there is still one thing stopping his dream happening, himself. This is because
Gordon is a disaster on legs and doesn't even realise it. In whatever he does, despite the best
of intentions, he ends up annoying everyone and making even the simplest task a hundred
times more difficult than it ever needs to be. In fact the only reason he ever got promoted as high as manager was to get rid of him from what was left of his previous centre.
In fact it is a mark of Gordon's effect on people that he can't walk around Whitbury
without being accosted by someone he has annoyed, or being set upon by someone he is
trying to advise.
Alot of these problems arise because Gordon Brittas believes he is a good motivator of people, despit being the worst motivator of people since Captain Bligh (as in the Captain of the Bounty, as in Mutiny on the Bounty). To give you an idea of the effect of his motivation on the staff and contractors it is best to look at his first day as an
example. Before he arrived it was a nice happy efficient centre, with the workmen working
on the last bits of finishing off. Within half an hour of his arrival the builders where on strike,
there had been a wave of resignations following his motivational speach and the staff that remained where entirely demoralised by the new efficient staff
timetable he created. And after the day was over he had driven one of the staff to physically try and kill him (using specially sharpened table tennis bats), and the builders had filled his car with concrete.
The staff timetable is a good example of another one of Gordon's considerable number of character flaws, his
love of rules, paperwork, and management techniques. Laura created the original staff
timetable by ringing around and asking people what times would be convenient, without the
application of one management technique. Gordon took one look and said "That's not very
scientific is it." before showing her the new scientific timetable which would destroy moral,
and lead to the Table Tennis incident.
He has an unshakable and entirely erroneous confidence
in his own ability. Whenever Gordon meets a problem he has no doubt
whatsoever in his mind that he is the person to solve it. As his wife Helen put it at one point
"He thinks he's the oil that keeps the wheels turning, but he isn't the oil, he's a bag of
grit."
This is an opinion based on Helen's experience of Gordon as a family man, which is a responsibility he has always taken very seriously, this is why his wife Helen is a nervous wreck. He tries to be there for her and get involved like an encouraging, supportive
husband. However due to his legendary people skills, his encouragements sound like insults, and his helpful attitude makes her wish he would just go way.
Laura Lancing [Deputy Manager originally Deputy Manager (Dry)] (Julia St John)
Laura is an organised, well liked and competent member of management, so she is the
one the staff go to to work out a way to solve the problem Mr Brittas creates.
Before coming to Whitbury she used to get irritated and angry by silly little things. But after several years working for Mr Brittas she suddenly found they didn't really matter, and could calmly face any crisis, sure that she has handled worse.
The thing is, she appreciates what Mr Brittas is trying to do, and feels sorry for him as he
can't understand why he keeps failing, but can't help getting annoyed at the disasters his
efforts generate.
Colin Weatherby [Originally Deputy Manager (Wet)] (Michael
Burns)
Colin was rapidly moved into a more of a handy man role after it was discovered that
the reason he was able to boast on his CV of being a proficient herbalist was because he was
using most of the herbal remedies on himself. Hence why he is usually sporting a supurating poltis on his hand, for a wound that never seems to heal.
A loyal follower of Mr. Brittas, he is one of the
few people who actually think Mr. Brittas is doing a good job.
Helen Brittas (Pippa Haywood)
Being the wife of Gordon means that Helen has more than her fair share of problems,
however she deals with them in a very adult and mature way, she gets as many tranquilizers,
mood enhancing pills, and strong drugs as a doctor will give her ( Which is quite a lot since
the doctor met Gordon), suppliments the effect with as much alcohol as she can get and has as many affairs as she can.
However Helen also has personality problems of her own, including an entire lack of
confidence and an irrational aggressive response to criticism.
Carole Parkinson (Harriet Thorpe)
Carole is the receptionist at the leisure centre, the cheery face that is supposed to greet
all visitors to the centre. However Carole doesn't really feel cheery. Just before she started the
the centre her husband had left her for someone else, she had a young baby, not much sleep,
and a deep depression. However when Mr. Brittas arrived and saw her crying into a cup of
coffee he insisted that she greeted every visitor where the forced cheery smile and the words
"Welcome to Whittbury new town leisure centre, how may I help you!". Unfortunately
because this was so forced, and usually performed while she is crying, it somehow lost some
of its effectiveness as a greeting.
The situation became worse after her eviction, when she was forced to start living at
work, and keep her baby, Ben, in one of her desk drawers. This caused the reception desk to
look like an particularly well used outpost of mothecare.
Gavin Featherleigh (Tim Marriot)
A hard working and patient individual, which is handy in this job. He tries to get on with
his work as best he can even when the world is falling down around his ears.
Tim Whistler (Russell Porter)
Gavin's boyfriend (although Mr Brittas will never cotton on to this) and one of the main people that really hates Mr Brittas's leadership.
Linda Perkin (Jill Greenacre)
A dynamo of energy and enthusiasm, Linda always gives 120% to everything she does
and is usually happy to do it.
Julie (Judy Flynn)
Mr Brittas's secretary who believes the intercom is just there to make it easier to listen to
his conversations and Mr Brittas's instructions are there to give her a laugh rather than
actually be followed.
Episodes
Series 1 2
- Laying The Foundations (3 January 1991)
- "Opening Day" (10 January 1991)
- "Bye Bye Baby" (17 January 1991)
- "Underwater Wedding" (24 January 1991)
- "Stop Thief!" (7 February 1991)
- "Assassin" (14 February 1991)
Series 2
- Back From The Dead (2 January 1992)
- Temple Of The Body (9 January 1992)
- An Inspector Calls (16 January 1992)
- Set In Concrete (23 Januar00y 1992)
- Mums And Dads (30 January 1992)
- Safety First (13 February 1992)
- New Generations (20 February 1992)
Series 3
- The Trial (7 January 1993)
- That Creeping Feeling (14 January 1993)
- Laura's Leaving (21 January 1993)
- Two Little Boys (28 January 1993)
- Sex, Lies and Red Tape (4 February 1993)
- The Stuff of Dreams (11 February 1993)
Series 4
- Not A Good Day ... (10 January 1994)
- The Christening (17 January 1994)
- Biggles Tells A Lie (24 January 1994)
- Mr Brittas Changes Trains (31 January 1994)
- Playing With Fire (7 February 1994)
- Shall We Dance? (14 February 1994)
- The Chop (28 February 1994)
- High Noon (7 March 1994)
Series 5
- The Old, Old Story (31 October 1994)
- Blind Devotion (7 November 1994)
- Brussels Calling (14 November 1994)
- The Lies Have It (21 November 1994)
- The Boss (28 November 1994)
- Pregnant! (5 December 1994)
- UXB 3 (12
December 1994) - The Last Day (19 December 1994)
Christmas Special
In the Beginning ... (27 Dec 94)
New years eve 2019, and Laura is being given a lift to Scotland by her son. She is going to the same new years eve party as she has done every year for the last 30 years. When her son asks why they have travelled so far for just a party, she tells him the story about a new years eve stuck in a leisure centre in 1989.
Series 6
- Back With A Bang (27 February 1996)
- Body Language (12 March 1996)
- At The Double (26 March 1996)
- A Walk On The Wildside (2 April 1996)
- We All Fall Down (9 April 1996)
- Mr Brittas Falls in Love (16 April 1996)
- Snap Happy (23 April 1996)
Christmas Special
Surviving Christmas (24 Dec 96)
Having dragged the centre on an team building outward bound course over
Christmas, the rather unhappy staff have to try and survive in the wild. Unfortunately the situation get worse when it becomes apparent that someone is trying to kill Mr Brittas. The trouble is with a waiting list of several thousand who can it be this time.
Series 7
- The Elephant's Child (6 January 1997)
- Reviewing The Situation (13 January 1997)
- http://etc (20 January 1997)
- Wake Up The Lion Within (27 January 1997)
- The Disappearing Act (3 February 1997)
- Gavin Featherly RIP (10 February 1997)
- Exposed (17 February 1997)
- Curse Of The Tiger Women (24 February 1997)
Book and Cassette : "Sharing the Dream" By Gordon Brittas
As the latest step towards his dream Gordon sets out how the public can help the work towards it,
in this essential work.
Repeats
The series is regularly repeated on Granada Plus and UK Gold on UK digital TV.
Leisure Centre was played by the Ringwood Recreation Centre, Ringwood,
Hampshire2Those titles in quotes are unofficial.3 UXB is the code for UneXploded Bomb.