h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Foxy – A Playground Game For The Young At Heart - A703603
Author: Superplonker - U190439

I thought this'd make a nice addition to the Games section. This is my first entry, so I appologise for anything that I've done wrong.

i'd agree that it'll make a nice addition, and, don't worry, you've done a great job!(please don't be discouraged by the rather lengthy remainder of the post; changes can be made quite easily.)

however some minor points(there are always *some* aren't there?):

1)"...make their way towards the wall at which the wall at which “it” is waiting", i'm thinking you meant "..make their way towards the wall at which “it” is waiting"? only typo i've found.

2)first person: i know, you've stayed away from it pretty well, yet references to 'the author' tend to look sort of odd and therefore discouraged. intances:
a)"...to pick “it", in the author’s experience..." could perhaps be changed to "...to pick "it" is generally for each..." or "one way in which to pick "it"..." , something like that.
b)"The author recommends..." "The following rhymes are recommended for..." passive sentences are generally preferable to 'the author' as they more easily avoid first person.
c)"The author suggests the following amendments..." "the following are possible amendments.."
d)much under the 'Is that it?' header. not sure what you can do with that.

that's it. remember, 'the author' phrases are really more of a last-ditch, i-really-can't-work-this-in-any-other-way kind of thing, and to be avoided almost as stringently as "I".

just know this one will get snatched up quickly, and, hope you'll write more for us...(i keep hoping one day we will have a smiley for that *hope hope*)

oh and there also seems to be some sort of problem with the title, probably one of those characters that doesn't display properly all the time.

Many thanks!

I'll see if I can make those changes.

There, done. Thank you for the advice, I did deem to go over board with "the author" phrases. I think I saw this in one entry and liked it.

I have left in a first person perspective in the last paragraph but only as a means of giving some explanation of where the idea came from.

ok, but be warned, there's a fair chance it'll be edited out... you might put it as a quote instead, with you as the 'quote-ee'(?).

oops, 'the wall at which the wall at which' is still in there...

There, I think I've done as much as I can do now. I guess I just sit back and wait now, eh?

Good entry. I know I played this game under a different name, but I can't remember it... Oh well.

you moved it?!

disregard previous post please

glak. and that, my friends, is *exactly* why we're supposed to close off threads...

and why it's a good idea to think before posting