h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

it is SeDItious to suggest the varlets are of any other use than cleaning the pig sties and getting a kicking

OUS

impetUOSity gentlemen, impetuosity, will get us nowhere we divide and conquer the enemy, not ourselves. Knights and varlets are as one team, it's the serfs who want a good kicking


>ITY<

Gadzooks, zOUndS and odd bodikins, suh, damn me if yopu ain't right.

L.W its >ITY<

So what if we inhaled the odd cookie or accIdenTallY sampled the smoke of burning sackcloth?



>LLY<

we would probably turn YeLLow or green and be very

LOW

That WOuLd be a disadvantage during battle, of course



>ULD<

Only if you're a dirty Knight with moULDy old underwear, we Varlets wash in clean water every week and don't wear such silly garments (always ready for a passing damsel).


>LDY<

A damsel would never YieLD to a varlet, underwear or no underwear, the damsels love only us knights

ELD

My latest DamsEL spent a knight of wild passion. I will remain drained of energy for a week, I'm sure



>SEL<

cLEanlineSs is next to godliness and I'm an atheist and where's there's muck there's brass (money) so why change habit of a lifetime by getting weshed regularly

>ESS<

Aye, I'm told that once you stop cleaning yourself you will soon reach a certain level of uncleanliness that cannot be surpaSSEd, so why bother?



>SED<

in the days of us knights, around domESDay, lard soap wasn't exactly great for bathing or washing with

>DAY<

I have often YeArneD for those old time days of lard and dripping in vast quantities to return

NED

http://www.halinaking.co.uk/Location/Yorkshire/Frames/Recipes/Recipes/Beef%20Pork%20Dripping.htm

ah! one can't DENounce the the taste and of mucky dripping on toast (plus a touch of salt on as well)

>NCE<

Nor can I deny that toast and dripping is ENhanCed by a sprinkle of salt

CED

my steed is moaning about the extra weight my armour is slowing him down, so I DECided out of purchasing mucky dripping for the last weekI've NOW talked myself into getting some on Thursday

>DED<

for your DEDication to the most humble food in the kingdom His Majesty has raised you to the most high order of the Company of Dripping knights. you may wear the gold head band inscribed 'I am a Drip' in diamonds on it and carry the insignia on your donkey' I am a lard ass'

ION

I believe I just saw sOmethINg similar in "The Battle of Five Armys"



>ING<