h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Cutter swoops out of the clouds at high speed. Somewhere out there, unaware of its presence, is the target: A military Cargo Aircraft.

[Marshal] We're almost there! No turning back now...

Hey guys, anyone got a spare weapon? I'll swap it for a donut?

[Marshal] Oh Damn! You mean I forgot!? Hang on...
*Pulls out a pistol with a silencer*
This is the Viper 70, a 16 round capacity, 9mm caseless handgun. It's standard issue for Cadets. Take good care of it. Any other weapons will have to be recovered on-mission.
Anyway, you want to be Squad Leader?

*Blaeb takes the pistol and examines it carefully*
[Blaeb] Thanks, what about some ammo for it? And yeah I'll be leader, that way I say who eats the donuts

*Hands him some extra ammo*
[Marshal] Okay... but remember, if you're Squad Leader you'll be responsible for everyone else on the mission. If they get hurt, or killed, it's your fault. Can you handle that?

*Hands him some extra ammo*
[Marshal] Okay... but remember, if you're Squad Leader you'll be responsible for everyone else on the mission. If they get hurt, or killed, it's your fault. Can you handle that?

[Blaeb]Err...

*looks expectantly at the rest of the squad*

Yup!

We're all going to die...

Why? I'm only 420 years old...

*sharpens a few arrows*

Hey Imgriff, does that horse fly/ Or are you leaving it behind?

Lizzy, AxeMan you both ready?

**Crumph!! A large shape flies through the door and lands heavily**

Ahh, good game of hide and seek you've got here.

**The large battleaxe is gone, replaced with a number of smaller throwing axes**

Axeman ready.

**Looking at the pistol he's been handed tries to eat it but then sticks it in his belt.**

Let's party.

*The rear hatch opens, revealing the shape of an aircraft below...*
[Marshal] No turning back now...
*Jumps out of the Cutter.*

Woohoo

**Dives head-first out of the cutter**

Geronimooooooooo.......

*Blaeb looks out the back of the cutter, and remembers he doesn't like heights*

Lizzy your next, then you Imgriff. I'll be right behind you

*Marshal hits the aircraft's wing and slides, clutching onto the panelling and finds a hold. He looks back upto the cutter*
[Marshal] *Over the Vox-link* Blaeb! You should try leading from the front! ... I know you're scared, but you CAN do this! Just jump! I'll catch you, I promise...

*Blaeb walks to the edge and looks down....*

Well, you guys coming or not?

*Closes eyes and......jumps*

Aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!

*Grabs his collar with his free hand*
[Marshal] Got ya! Don't worry about the others! We've gotta' get inside this thing!
*Points to an entry hatch*
There might be good... just watch for resistance!

Wait for me! *Zebias runs in* Reporting for duty Sir. Hey guys.

Try reading the backlog... Where is there to run in from? You're either in the Cutter (too small) or outside (breaking the laws of physics!). Start again, preferably from the point you jumped out of the cutter...

*Zebias lands heavily, his Scorpion's claw gripping hard onto the aircraft's fusilage.*
[Marshal] You okay, Zeb!? We're preparing to breach...

Fine sir. Ready to brech when you are.
sorry im only just getting used to this

[Marshal] Fine.
*looks back at Bleab*
I think he's in trouble, Zeb! He doesn't like heights... I'll have to let you do the breaching. Here-
*Hands Zebias a 'Decker System'*
-That'll unlock the hatch. Get in, secure the area QUIETLY and find somewhere to hide! I'm going back for Bleab...
*Crawls back along the wing*