You'd have to have been living in a lead-lined bunker at the centre of the Earth not to have noticed, but, just in case it had escaped your attention, the 2010 FIFA World Cup kicked off on Friday.

Which means that for the next four weeks our TV schedules, front pages, billboards and radio airwaves will be awash with news of the fiesta of football taking place in stadia across South Africa.

Fine if you are in love with the beautiful game - and plenty of people are¹ - but not so great if you're not. So, it got us to wondering what the footie-phobic among you were doing instead.

• Do you dread these big football championships? Do you find yourself dreaming up ways of avoiding the coverage? What do you do instead? Do you just have to grin and bear it?

• Are you a football widow? Or the only person in your family, or among your friends, not to get swept up in the circus, arguing over the offside rule or rooting for England's boys in white²?

• Do you get annoyed that the media divides fans and non-fans along gender lines? Channels without matches are lining up fluffy rom-coms to pit against the big games, while only last week the Radio Times published an alternative World Cup cover featuring SATC2's³ Sarah Jessica Parker. What gives?

• Do you think we pay a disproportionate amount of attention to the World Cup in this country? Has it reached saturation point? Do you think there's not enough thought paid to people left cold by the footie, and with few places to go to avoid it⁴?

On yer head, son... Sorry, over to you...