A Conversation for Talking Point: Mixed-race Relationships

racism just because i have a mixed rece baby

Post 1

emarni

Hello i'm currently in a mixed race relationship & have been for the last 4 years, i have a lovely mixed race daughter who is so bright & happy, i look at her sometimes & know to myself she is going to experince racism, from both sides of her culture. Its not her fault its not anybodies fault infact, two people have come together that love each other have had a child, i go down my local high street & each day i get a comment or people just look at my child & kiss there teeth, why? i ask myself. Soon my daughter will be old enough to understand that racism exists & i will tell her what to expect from these IGNORANT people, she will be taught that she is no different to anybody else. Me as a mother can teach my daughter her culture's she will go to church & learn about jesus, her father learn's her to, he does get protective over her as he know's more than me what racism can be like. It lights my fire as white men/women should learn we are in changing times & they have no power to stop this, its all part of god's masterplan. White women we are not dirt or any other nasty name you want to call us we are human & black men/women should realise from there pasts about racism & how it hurts & effects people. black women think we as white women who have mixed race children cant teach them anything about the other side of there culture, well i'm afraid you are wrong I have made sure i have educated myself to pass my knowledge on. As bob marley say's One Love!! i'm recently read a interesting book by Yasmin Brown "Mixed Feelings" its a must read, very interesting. to all the mothers with mixed race children wether you are black or white Respect for holding it down.


racism just because i have a mixed race baby

Post 2

dramasteph

Hi there! My name is Stephi and I am based in the London area.
I have just joined this site, and came across your message.
What you wrote really struck a chord with me because that message could easily have been written for, and about myself, although I am not, in this case, the mother (as you are) but the daughter of mixed parents.

I have also endured the bigotry and racism you have described. My mother is a white English lady, and my father (whom I have never met, and was only told about when I reached my teens) was Persian/N.African. I look just like my foreign parent, although have been raised only as English by my mum's side of the family.

If yourself,or anyone in a similar situation would like to discuss the whole race issue, feelings, thoughts etc.. in more detail, please do respond as I'd love to hear from you!! Take care! Stephi. x.



racism just because i have a mixed rece baby

Post 3

dollykelly

hi.. I have just read your message and as a communication studies student, I explore issues such as mixed-race relationships and experiences. What you have written here is an expression and opinion that definately needs to be aired and talked about more frequently, especially amongst black and white women AND men. Many white or black parents who do not agree with inter-racial relationships feel that mixedrace children will not grow to truly understand each of their mixed cultural heritage. Well, as a mixed child myself, a half Filipina and half English... I can tell you that some full Filipinos do look down on me and believe that my mum cannot teach me everything about her culture but that is not her fault. I am British. A mixed-race Briton, and although I have my Filipina influences... other cultures contribute to the way i understand both of my cultural heritages. I have experienced many racist remarks and when growing up, it hurt very much.

Now, as a student of the topic, i understand that it really is a case of ignorance, misunderstandings and all dependant of many factors such as upbringing, education and most importantly... experiences.
for example, if a child who is classed as purely caucasian and looks so... they more than likely will never experience racism and therefore will have a high chance of not wanting to identify or learn about racism or the mixing of race- unless other factors/influences are involved - such as bonding with mixed race people and hearing about their experiences and wanting to learn and understand cultures that are very different to their own. One of the child's parents might also have learned about other cultures and contribute to the way the child thinks about other races and the issue of mixing. However, there will always be the debate about the extent to which people of no mixture will understand and act towards those who are mixed and those who have mixed.

P.S. I have also read Brown's 'Mixed Feelings', i read it to help me with one of my units and it is a very interesting and insightful read. I do recommend it to all people... mixed children or not... because it would be ideal if more people understood the experiences of being a mixed child/being. Maybe we can't completely erase racism... but at least we can slowly progress to a more understanding and accepting society. Take care to all those mixed race buddies and all those who help make us beautiful people!!!


racism just because i have a mixed rece baby

Post 4

darlia2004

Hi, I have just read some of the discussions posted on this site and I am pleased to see that I am not alone in experiencing negative attitudes to mixed race relationships. I have been with my partner for 2 years who is caribbean and I am mixed arab/english. I have to say that it is mostly other caribbean women who seem to have a problem with our relationship. When we are out together they look at me as if i am dirt and 'kiss teeth' like I have stolen their boyfriend or something?! However, the worst reaction I have had was when i recently told my father about our relationship. Even though he is arab and married a white english woman he finds it completely unacceptable for me to be with a black man. I know my father and know he will disown me before he accepts my partner. I cannot understand why people have these prejudices, after all it is only colour and if people could look beyond that they may find, as i did, that they have found a warm, wonderful and loving person whom they can share their life with.


racism just because i have a mixed rece baby

Post 5

True282

I have just read your comments about being in a mixed race relationship, and how it has effected your relationship with your father. I felt the urge to comment on what you said regarding black women and how they perceived you when you are out with your black partner. Do you really feel they have problem with you, or are you the one with the problem? Being a black women myself, I have experienced a strange atmosphere from women of other ethnic backgrounds who have a black partner, I ask you, why are we always the problem? Why is it we are always giving you the bad looks? Why are we always wanting your man? Don't you see, when you are out and about with your man we are getting on with our lives, I don't know any black women who have a problem with mixed relationships, mixed relationships are part of everyday lives, remember we have brothers and uncles who are in these relationships. My experience of different raced women dating black men, (note I did not say our black men) is a very sad sense of paranoia. You need to lift up your head and walk proud, if you love each other, and you have each other be happy, there will always be difficulties, yes I agree, but the problems are not stemming from black women only. If you don't like how they look at you, one simple thing, either smile and walk on, or don't look at them in the first place.


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