h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's ok. The kids round here hate me because I'm always telling them off when they do something naughty like throwing litter on the ground!

Good for you! Somebody has to! I'm afraid we're leading comrade Godling's fine article up a bit of a winding creek though. Perhaps, instead of the wholesale conflagration of cities, we should initiate a program of spot fires designed to eradicate social problems wherever they are found.

Call me a cynic but wouldn't that set the whole world on fire?

Oooooh! That is cynical. I think we could spare...mmmm, let me think. Well, there are plenty of gardens that don't need to be burned.

But no people to look at them!

That's where it gets tricky. There are a lot of nice people, who would be welcome to wander the gardens (within a clearly established framework of rules, of course). There are some highly decorative and amusing people, who could enhance a garden in the manner of Tiberius' Capri. As for the rest, it's definately "B" Ark time, I'm afraid.