h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

s and s to Mark and Peta and an extra for Peta.

*Reads the message.*

This is truly appaling! No matter what anyone says, no one ever speaks like that even in RL!

Mark and Peta, you have my most heartfelt sympathies.

What a sad place to finally meet my personal muse.

Seriously though, I think most everybody on h2g2 would agree with you.

Ok.

Mina has suggested that LeKZ "does not deserve my loyalty". While I welcome advice on who I should be friends with, I think I'll make my own decisions on such things, if that's quite alright with everyone. I hope I don't offend anyone in my choice of loyalties...

Mark has said that LeKZ "targeted" h2g2. Yeah, she did. Targeted it as a place where she could feel safe, be herself, and have fun. But not, as is implied, target it as a place to spew vitriol. So Mark, I'd like you to clarify what you mean by "target", or retract what I am currently interpreting as a hurtful and unjustified statement.

I complained about Menza's statement not because I was nitpicking, but because it was totally untrue - painting a picture of my friend as someone who was forever 'kicking up a stink', and had been since she first joined h2g2. Anyone who thinks that has obviously only been looking at a hundredth of what she wrote.

I'm going to wildly assume that Tango picked the wrong smiley on hir post, since the impression of the words as written isn't favourable. In answer to the question, apparently there have been two other lifetime suspension {love the oxymoron} in h2g2's history.

Of course, Arpeggio bought the post to Peta's attention because some random squack had temporarily hidden it. So this wasn't some kind of attempt to draw Peta's attention to a deliberate attack on her - the moderators beat her to it. Just thought I'd make that clear.

Oh, and "We've ***'d out the words that break the House Rules" - so you've replaced the X's with letters to obtain offensive words, or rather had a respectable researcher do that for you, become offended, and then put the *s back in them. Well, I'm impressed - obviously "fuXXXng " is just *SO* much more offensive than "f*****g" - I'm amazed my sensitive ears haven't started bleeding just reading it - good call there - self-censorship with anything except *s is obviously just beyond the pale.

I'm not finished yet - just drawing breath...

But let's just look again at the post which was so offensive it warranted instant lifetime 'suspension'. You know - the one that's so offensive that it hasn't even been hidden.

-----
The bXXXXst XXoXXXXs Xt the XXXXnt are the fact that bXXh XXXk and XXXa are XXXpleXX XXXXXs, one beXXXXX XX's a XXXe-tXX-XXighX XXeazX XoXXXXXian, XXX Xhe XXXer XXXXXse XhX's XXmply XXffXXXng XXXm XXXe sXrt of pXrXXXlXXy XXsXXXXr, which renXXXX hXX uXXXt for thXX or anX XXher XXb (XXd help hXX oXXXpXXXg). XX thXX XXuld Xake theXX XXXXs, XnseXt thXX in tXXXX XXctXXX, (XXXX'XX XXch big XXXXoles, tXXXe XXX't be any tXXuXXe gXXXXXg the rXXXXXoks in pXXt tXXXr XXXXs) and go away, thXX XXuld be a XXXXly XXjoXXXle and inXXXesXXXg wXXXXXe. As it is, thXX and tXXXX fXXXkXXs aXX just mXXXfXXXXrXXg a XXsfuXXXiXXXl and dXXentXX fXXXXy aXXX from XXme, and XX'd aXXXXt XXXher eaX a bulXXt. TXX XXXXle, hXXXvXr, XXX XXstly vXXy deXXnt, thXXgh XXXre XXe tXXXe XhX rXXXly XXXuld XXver haXX waXXed theXX pXXXntX' gXXm cXXls aXX if that fuXXXng XXwisX XXerXXan PXXnceXX doXX XXt XXut hXX ovXXXorXXd faXX and XXXn, soXXXne is goiXX to XXXe to dXXXXXowXX her. XXe and XXXt inXXXt XXXm XXll, XXayXXy XXXorXXX, and XXX tXXX XerveXX who XXXted on oXX XXXe, XXe oXXXwhXXXiXXXy oXXXxXXXs. BXXXcXXXy, tXXX juXX fucXXX XXcks aXX wX hXXe the XXXtXXs XXXe a lot of fun iXXlXXXXtXXX rules against XXXXXs, beXXXXe that XXXXs to be thXXX XXXX aXXXXpXXsXXXnt.

Now you know. Kurtis, for LeKZ
----

Now I know everyone is eager to look at the 'translation', but myself I'd prefer to look at the actual source. You know - judge a person on what they wrote, not on what some random person with an axe to grind thought they had wrote.

You're all getting terribly upset, saying that this is just beyond the pale, and you're looking at what some 'respectable researcher' wrote and judging it as gospel. Look at what was written. Judge it for yourself. And why not give a few hugs to (a girl called) Jack and Anna, since they fit "XXXk and XXXa" just as nicely as Peta and Mark.

Alternatively, just keep baa-ing. Why think for yourself when somebody else has done it for you, eh?

Lucinda, it's very late at night. I'm very tired. I really don't mean to be rude, but please, enough already? Just leave it. Please? Enough.

I tell a lie. LeKZ had brought this to Peta's attention because it had been permanently hidden. The email sent out in these cases says "If you would like to pursue this matter further, then please contact the Moderation Help Desk".

LeKZ wished to pursue the matter further, so she contacted the Moderation Help Desk. Either that or she was prescient, and knew it was going to be hidden before it was actually hidden. But hey, I don't know all the facts, so ignore me. If Mark said she did it to bring it to Peta's attention, then he *must* be right. The new telepathy implant they have at the BBC is working double time.

Apologies for inaccurate information - 'hope this helps'

Peta, I'm not keeping you up. Feel free to go home. I'm sure you must be distraught at being told that you "XXXe sXrt of pXrXXXlXXy XXsXXXXr", and my posts will happilly wait until Monday morning. There's no rush after all - the evil witch of the west has been banished from the kingdom, and all the citizenry can live happilly ever after.

No it hadn't been permanently hidden. No the email hadn't been sent. Read what she said to me on the helpdesk. It had *not* been hidden. And hey Lucinda, I do have feelings you know. Stop it please. Please nicely.

Lucinda - are you actually implying that the message either had no meaning at all, or some other, completely anodyne meaning?

Stop baiting me. I don't deserve it.

Xanthia -

check your email. Then write to me.

Please come off here...

x x Fenny

Peta, Mark and all the italics, but especially right now Peta, my thoughts are with you more than it is possible to put into words.

Debbie.

I don't understand all this.

Amazing.

LeKZ and I were laughing this about the post of purely random letters and punctuation, with a lot of X's, got pulled for review. We were assuming that someone would figure out that it was random gibberish and put it back.

I suppose that, with enough imagination, you can make just about anything out of just about any combination of X's, random letters and random punctuation.

I congratulate your researcher on his/her imagination.

I challenge other researchers to come up with alternate interpretations of that same combination.

I won't see the results of this challenge, I'm afraid.

Mark, I won't thank you for all the fish. They left a bad taste in my mouth.

Thanks Debbie. Night everyone.

Let it go. . the decision has been made. . .it needs to die now

Peta's upset. So am I. If you're too emotional, I believe you said to LeKZ, please stay away from the keyboard until you're calmer. Wise words indeed, and I'm glad to see you've taken them.

Jim wants to know if there could be a perfectly anodyne meaning in Kurtis' words. Thank you, Jim, that was just the point I was getting to. I confess that I'm not as good at word games as the respectable researcher, but what say I give it a try on the first para, and see what you can get out of it if you don't automatically assume the worst, eh?

--
The biggest troubles at the moment are the fact that both Jack and Rita are complete morons, one because he's a none-too-slight breazy collegeman, but the other because she's simply ruffling Herm - some sort of personality restorer, which renders him unfit for this or any other mob (God help her offspring).
--
I guess LeKZ wanted their personality restored by Herman, but can't cos of this Rita moron 'ruffling' him. Jack's just a fat idiot, on the other hand. The 'mob' of LeKZ - that's an internal mob, of course - is probably a little put out by this. Are we all happy?

The irony is that the same site which says that fXXk isn't swearing, and is happy for you to tell the fXXXXXg rams to fXXk off and fXXXXXg fXXk the sheep somewhere less fXXXXd, nevertheless says that something which can be interpreted, if you squint at it the right way, as an attack on the sacred people in bold italics, is worth an automatic expulsion. Sorry, 'suspension for life'.

I think the hypocrisy here is too thick to breathe.
Can't handle it.
Lucinda, do you think they're really going to change their minds?
Let's just hope arpeggio gets another account. They can't stop her from doing that, can they?

You're right Aaron - we've been talking about this 'suspension for life' - one of three of it's time - for a whole seven hours now. Obviously that's long enough, I mean why dwell on such an insignificant event, especially when the reasons are on such solid ground.

<-- for the sarcasm impaired

But yes, I'm perfectly aware that Mark Has Spoken, and the chance of him actually reading any of this beyond looking for nitpicks to pounce on and deconstruct is absolutely negligible. There's a very slim chance that he might accept that LeKZ wasn't some sort of remotely launched missile aimed at the complete destruction of h2g2, but it's not exactly a betting certainty. Any moment now he'll go into his usual "I stand by my staff" routine, just like the time he was gracious enough to allow us a soapbox to question the suspension decision.

But 'respected researcher' (hi XXX!) has made their judgement, and everyone's reading that rather than rubbing their brain cells together to see if they can make a spark, so let's just look at this post which is so horrific that there was no alternative but to hit the detonate button on the exploding collar.

Mark is called 'none-too-bright'. I believe I (along with Twophlag Gargleblap) once called all christians stupid. And a politician - I believe that's a charge that certain Zaphodistas have been levelling for some time. So I'll assume that it's Peta who's the hideously offended victim who needs protection from the big bad Xs. Peta is accused of having a personality disorder. Meanwhile Playboy Reporter decided to not-so-subtly accuse LeKZ of being a sociopath who pretended to be multiple as an excuse for her 'crimes' - the crimes for which she had apparently 'done her penance'. Playboy is still a researcher at h2g2, his post is still viewable, and Peta made a specific point of saying that it was 'totally valid'. And the difference between Playboy attacking LeKZ and LeKZ attacking Peta is... oh yes - Peta's in charge, and can't be expected to be unbiased.

But like I say, I don't accept that Respected Researcher's interpretation has any validity - it says more about hir mindset than that of LeKZ. People write off Noddy as racist, and Narnia as Satanistic, and it tells us more about the filth in their brains than anything in CS Elliot's or Enid Blyton's.

Oh, and for the record, I have no intention of reposting anything from LeKZ. I'm a big boy, and I can put two and two together without external help. Just so y'all know - I wouldn't want to be banned for life - this is all so much fun!