h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Edward Lear's.

Does this also mean that Eve didn't really eat an apple, she ate a quince?

No wonder God threw them out of Eden!

"Does that mean that the Apple of Discord thrown amongst the Goddesses at the wedding to which Eris wasn't invited was really a Quince, the Quince of Discord..."

Oh, excellent, GTB! I hadn't made that leap.

Hail Eris!

Well it most certainly wasn't a damson.

Maybe there was a 'pair'....

Forgive the pun please, last day of work before all the fun starts...

*Having forgotten the rather unpleasant nature of the Marshmallow Man, Artenshiur decides to get rid of it. All of the fire extinguishers being gone, he takes up the next best thing, a Fifteen Puzzle, and hurls it at the beast. Mr. M is severely damaged but not disheartened, and runs foreward to grapple with Artenshiur. After a sufficiently heroic struggle, Artenshiur tears the thing's arm of with Beowulfian flair, and it runs away splattering fluffer everywhere.*

well, that was fun. I hope that didn't spurt too badly onto anyone's clothes.

*Sits down and begins munching on the Marshmallow arm*

* produces a burning bush and uses it to toast marshmallows *

I think the 'damson of discord' has rather a nice ring to it.

If memory serves, didn't Beowulf have a bit of a run in with Grendel's mum after ripping his arm off for being a naughty boy ...

MaW, you'd better be able to produce burning bushes on demand ...

*looks around warily to find the emergency exits*

Or maybe deackie can placate her with some damson jam, if Mrs Marshmallow turns up unexpected like. Got a tonne or two to spare, deackie?

* produces an entire burning shrubbery *

How's that?

Excellent, MaW. One trusts that this skill has nothing to do with the more dubious Adventures of Moses.

To get us more on track, here's something to discuss.

Is celebrating Christmas a good or bad thing?

We eat too much, drink too much, sleep too little and spend vast sums on disappointments for all and sundry before eating and drinking even more to 'ring in' the new year and then finally go back to work for a rest. All to mark the supposed birth of an individual 2000(ish) years ago, whose only record of existence was manufactured some time after his death.

Ok Madent, you've convinced me. It's a Bad Thing all right. I won't do it again, promise...

I don't think most people do it to mark anyone's birth. Most people do it because everyone else is doing it.

But that aside, what's actually wrong with eating too much, drinking too much, and sleeping too little for one week of the year?

Not a lot's wrong with it, we need a good celebration every once in a while and if the birth of some nutcase from 2000 years ago is a good enough excuse for everyone else to get together with their family and/or friends to get drunk and eat/sleep to much then why not.

What I object to is all the commercialised rubbish which goes along with it, a lot of people make a lot of money out of trivia which will be binned long before the next installment of pseudoreligious celebration comes around. Whether you believe in the history or not, it shouldn't be an excuse for blatant profiteering in the name of 'christmas spirit' (I find a good single malt is the best choice for that incidentally.......anyone else want one?)

I've been living overseas (Africa) and I came home (USA) for Christmas. The commercialization was shocking. There wasn't *any* Christmas hype in Kenya, so I was barely aware that it was approaching. Suddenly, I was in an airport in Chicago - an airport bar in Chicago - and on the TV there was a commercial shouting at my subconscious that if I spend lots of money on cheese (cheese?), then I'll get a lot of loot for Christmas. It was creepy, and I ordered another (bourbon).

I like New Years, because, although it's arbitrary, it's a holiday that doesn't have *any* religious baggage. It's just, "Hey everyone, the number's rolling over! Have some and someone!" I can't argue with that.

Also, there's 'Auld Lang Syne'. What a good song. "Let's drink to things we don't even remember!" Yeah!

I reckon we need more celebrations more evenly spaced out - lots of fun in mid-winter was good when there was nothing else to do, but it's scarcely appropriate in this century...

Hello, thought it was time I posted something instead of just lurking around the thread.

I have a problem with all the commercial Christmas stuff, and for the last few years have avoided it (partially) by telling all my friends and family I'm not doing the presents/turkey/decorations thing. I do still like to socialise, eat nice food and drink good wine etc.- I think we need a hearty celebration in the middle of winter, to keep our spirits up.
I am slightly worried about how I'm going to handle it if/when I have children though.....any suggestions?

When you have children, Candi, your Christmases will become genuinely magical again, for a short time. Too soon, *they* will become affected by the crass commercialism, but for those first few years, while they believe in Santa Claus and his little elf helpers... Enjoy it with them; it won't last long.

Pattern-chaser

"Who cares, wins"

The thing is, you see, that I didn't celebrate Christmas at all. There are so many midwinter festivals you can just pick whatever you care to celebrate and join in, provided of course you avoid the christmas carols etc - unless you like being a hypocrite or just like irritating people who try and work out what you're actually doing.

The commercialisation is horrible though. I really hate that.

Carols pre-date Christianity and many of them aren't even theologically sound anyway. I think that as long as I choose carols carefully I can maintain my cultural heritage while enjoying a flippin good sing-song. I spent a merry few hours in an English hostelry just before Christmas and did much wassailing. We sang old folk carols many of which have only a passing reference (if any at all) to Christianity and all of which had wonderful, lively tunes. I have my mistletoe hung by my computer. Nothing Christian about that. It is considered so heathen that even though decorations are now permitted in churches, mistletoe is still not allowed.

On the subject of carols: why "in the bleak mid winter", "snow had fallen snow on snow" and "they sailed into Bethlehem"? Perhaps someone could enlighten me when it last snowed heavily in Bethlehem and who moved the sea close enough to sail in?

Christians who still try and convince themselves that Christmas is their religious festival are kidding themselves. So pass me some more mulled wine, gather under my mistletoe, decorate trees to promote regrowth, show respect for that god who wears the red suit and there's no need to feel hypocritical. I've still got a couple of days of holiday left