h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I, Silent Potato, am ready and willing to sign up to the ranks of the Potato Army.
In joining the Potato Army I will be able to offer my skills in actually being a potato to begin with.

Signed Silent Potato

*walks in to the recruitment office and sees a silent potato*

Strange how did that get here?

I came to exist during the great potato rains in '97 when a large goat left its green grass covered pasture and carried with it a message and that was that potatoes were indeed edible. This caused great fear in the hearts of many potatoes and of all those that had rained down from the giant potato cloud in the sky i was elected to be their spokesman. This was rather unfortunate because I am silent. Nevertheless I made it clear that we have rights too. The potato war still wages and we continue to campaign against chips, crisps and other such gruesome variations these potatoes murderers seem to like so much.

I was captured recently, very near to the recruitment office, but - through cunning and skill I managed to peel myself from danger and I Escaped to your office, unharmed. My potato father would say, I'm just a chip off the old block.

Welcome, Silent_Potato

Maybe you should join us in the potato army meeting thingy

Sounds good, as long as no one mashes me I'll join.

Hi Silent Potato, I'm the commander of the potato army, sorry I took so long, but I was off fighting battles on distant planets and that took longer then I thought it would. You do know we use potatoes as ammo?

Snowman

Potatoes as ammo? Hmm, sounds a bit frightening - but then I'm sure I'll cope if it's in a good cause. King Edwards would be especially good to use, because they are quite big and are highly explosive.

SP

(sorry it took so long to reply - I was kidnapped by an evil chef who tried to cook me)

Poor Silent_Potato

Very impressive resume, Silent Potato.

I'd say you're a potato to keep an eye on.

Snowman