h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And then, Jason smurf and his smurfonauts faced an army of smurfs smurfed forth by the evil Gargamel.

Helen smurf was smurfed away from Menaleus smurf, of to Troy with Paris smurf. Menaleus smurfed an army together with a lot of other King smurfs, and they went to get Helen smurf back.

The oracle told Oedipus smurf that he would smurf his father and then smurf his mother. Then, some other stuff happened and Oedipus smurf said, "Oh no! I've smurfed my father and smurfed my mother! I guess I'd better go smurf my eyes out, now."

Daedalus smurf and Icarus smurf smurfed some wings and flew off the island where Minos smurf was holding them captives. Unfortunately, Icarus smurf flew too close to the sun and smurfed down into the waves.

Then, Cassandra said, "Oh goody, now I can smurf the future," so she did. Then, after a while, she smurfed, "Oh no, I can't do anything to smurf the bad smurfs that are going to smurf!"

The problem was, no-one believed Cassandra smurf when she smurfed the future.

So, she gave up and decided to bet on the chariot races.

Good one. That's what I'd do, If I could see the future. That or the National Lottery.

No, wait, the Lottey /then/ the horses .

You'd just have to be sure to avoid Shirley Jackson's Lottery.

Shirley Jackson is a writer. She wrote a short story called, "The Lottery." In that story, a small town holds an annual lottery. At the end, the "winner" of this lottery is stoned to death.

Oh, I did an English exam on the way in which the writer makes the story scary and convinving. The mother gets killed, at some point, and that was as far as the passage went. Always wanted to know the title of that book. Pity there's no smiley, 'cos this would be a good place to use it.

What's the matter? Are you too good to ?

It's just not always appropriate. . There.