h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think it cou8ld be the barman....but....well u no how hard they are to replace....especially with the employment record for here.

Are you looking for a new barkeep?

Oh wow..this bar's been wrecked but all the windows are still in one piece!!!!

CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!

< a mysterious blonde in a bright red catsuit ( a bit like britney spears really) crashes throught the window, sending shardes of glasses everywhere. she drops to thte floor and sommersults over to the bar. she then stands up and looking around the bar starts to brush the glass and wood from her catsuit>

oh hi tally how are you? i could be bothered to go round the building to get to the door.... much in need of a me thinks...still self service is it and whats with the big pink stainy thing over that rug i sent you as a birthday pressie!?!?!

Oh my God what was that??? A hurricane???

Oh hi laura where u come from???

Pass me a While ur there will u?

yeah sure, here you go
(passes tally a <atiffdrink&gt

just becareful w2ith that though ive made it to my special recipe , its fifty times stronger than the regular... it burns through wood...

I know this stuff supposed to burn the back of ur throat...but sratch it????

there werent that much galss it in....

Never mind.



Ouch...that hurt...but boy was it good!



I didn't know I was on a stool!

yeah, that can happen when u drink my drinks...they're that good!!!


oh hi easilypb didnt see you there (i.e... right in front of my face..!) would u like one of my drinks too??

Is laura now our new barmaid>????

Do u really have a death wish????

no im not!!!!
i not that bored/stoopid!!!!

Watch where u put those feet!!!!! 9 inch stiletos could make a bit of a mess.

your should be lucky i aint wearing my twelve inch stiletos today!!!!

Whow who gave this room a spinning effect???



Wow these bottles are stood upside down!!!

< a man walk through the door.. he has his coat in his hand, over his shoulder and is whilstling a tune under his breath.. in short, he is happy to be here...

*Hi guys im going to be ure new barman and i cant tell you how much i need this job to get outta some of my debt i cant wiat to start my names- AARGH!!!!*>



< another man walks into the bar

*Hi im ure new barman. the agency had a feeling that he (pointing at the pile on the floor by the rug) wouldnt last that long, especially in a place with this reputation so they send me too...*

with that he skillfully steps of the body and glass, and pools of liquir and anything else that managed to accumulate on the floor and takes his place behind the bar. In ten minutes he has the bar cleared up and fresh drinks in everyone's glasses...

somehow without leaving the bar.. the room was also beginning to look tidier too....but it just turned out that everyone by now was so drunk that they didnt even realise that he was cleaning the room too..>

Hey put me down.... I'm still alive.....JUST!!!!

That feather duster tickles!

wow!!!! that new barman really nice... in some ways he looks a lot like Keanu Reeves...

Oh...how I love a block that remains concious for more than ten minutes.

< i walk over to the unconcious heap in one of the corners and try kicking in awake. no response. i trying kicking it harder. he groans and rolls over slightly. at a loss at what else to do, i go back and start to mix up one of my special drinks, this time triple strength....>