h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can only assume that you, my dear Bumboof, are a beginner at this game, otherwise you wouldn't have opened with such a foolish move! Why anyone would want to play South Kensington when White City has already been played is beyond me, you've opened up the Central/Circle Instability, leaving yourself open to attack from the District Line. Please pay attention. Try going back to Notting Hill Gate, and playing a Green Ticket.

Hah! Like I'm going to fall for that one. I think instead, I'll go to Sloane Square, just to spite you. Take that. And next time you think you can trick me into doing something stupid, think again. Ha ha!

Fool! You've played into my hands! I claim Embankment, and predict finish in Seven. The classic Brooke-Taylor Push! Sweet.

Ahh... so naive. I'll let you hold on to you're foolish ambitions for now, and quietly shuffle on over to Barbican. Finish in seven... Ha! Maybe for me.

Ooh, playing dirty are we? And I thought this was a pleasant light hearted game. Right then. I announce a half day holiday for the staff at Leicester Square Station, and in the ensuing confusion I will play Bank.

Now that was downright devious. Too bad I can still make my move to Euston Square.

Oh you're so linear!
Shoreditch (during peak hours only)!

Linear for a reason, my dear Moonhogg, for now, invoking Bidermeyers slip, I can get to West Hampstead. Brilliant, if I do say so myself. And I do.

Okay, okay.....
Well.....
Having conducted a swift piece of research, I shall invoke Gruntfuttock's Posture and replace my previous move with a swift ride to Warren Street. Using the Wednesday Rules, I make that checkmate!

(While on the subject of research, try http://www.amazonsystems.co.uk/data/morn.htm which has an on-screen interactive mini-game, and I'd also recommend "Stovold's Mornington Crescent Almanac 2002" edited by Graham Garden - check out Amazon for cheap copies - you sound like you could do with all the help you can get!)

We'll see about that. Good game though.

So, do you give in, or do I have to shout "Mornington Crescent" at you?

I never give in. Do your worst.

MORNINGTON CRESCENT!
Hah! I won one! First time. Often the runner up, but never before the winner. You gave me a damned good run for my money though...
Fancy another go? I'll let you open...

And that would be your first mistake... I'll start way out in Hillingdon. By the way, where'd everybody else go?

The Metropolitan Opener - last used in 1967 by the Haydock and Brown Partnership. They went on to lose 3-0 in extra time. In the cicumstances, I'll begin with a swift half in the Elephant and Castle.
As for everyone else.... I guess they gave up when they saw our battle building up. They knew they didn't stand a chance!

Ahh, but what Haydock and Brown didn't do was move on up to Wembley Park.

I agree, the others were probably intimidated by the fact that they didn't even know some of these moves we're refering to!

I can't believe there are peolpe who still don't know the rules - there's a girl at work who hasn't even *heard* of the MCC! She looks at me as if I'm some sort of nut! Tchoh! Philistines!

Anyway, back to the serious business.

Hmm...

Wembley Park. Almost bought a house in Wembley Park Avenue once - but that was in Hull, so that was irrelevant. However, I believe irrelevancies are only punishable in another game, so I0 shall leave it in.
Okay, I shall try and repeat the 2002 Candi (great player) repetition of the Dimbleby-Sproggit Amendment of 1956, and play Hainault. A bit far out there, but a strategic move. Work that one out then!

Hmph! Think the rest of us aren't man enough for your little game eh? Tsk. Amateurs.

Russell Square.

It might help if you didn't tell me your strategy, Moonhogg. Unless, of course, you want me to THINK that you're attempting a Dimbleby-Sproggit, in which case I should move to Kilburn Park. Hmm, but what if you want me to think that you want me to think that you're using the Dimbleby-Sproggit... Whatever. I'll go Paddington. I'd like to see you finish a Dimbleby-Sproggit now!

So, it's a three way scrap now?
Okay, if you think you can hack it -
I'll go for a Nastavit-Pondeli Proposition in Northwood Hills.
Under the Wednesday Rules, that will be in a clockwise position only, anti-clockwise counter movements will be penalised with 2 extra moves (Victoria and Metropolitan lines are excluded, under the Rule 33b amendment).