h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* waves *

I see you've finally reappeared on-line. Seems your Christmas went reasonably, albeit a bit manic, but would I expect anything less from you

Mine was spent with her folks which was quite awful if truth be told

Manic - who me! Surely not!!!!!!!

Sounds very brave of you - spending Chirtmas with her family! Well done for surviving. I find Chirstmas with my family awful enough and was very surprised when J wanted to share it! Still he and the kids seemed to enjoy and Mum was only partially vile to me. That old tactic of trying never to be alone in a room with her was well used and except for when she ambushed me coming out of the toilet (to tell me that my ahir colour is terrible and I should be wearing more make up but not as much as last time I saw her - she seems to have ignored the fact that I had a raving temperature and was only just feeling concious) workerd well!

Its nice to know some things dont change!

So how long are you off work for?

I'm sort of off until next week. There are some bits and bobs that I really ought to sort out before I go back - I was meaning to do them on my last afternoon in the office before Christmas, but I spent it in the pub which was much more satisfying - so I'll pop in for a couple of hours at some point this week. I'll probably do it on New Year's Day as that will mean that mt e-mails will have rather a nice date stamp

So, was this year's Christmas present an improvement on the toilet brush and ironing board of previous years?

Well that depends on how you define better! This year my parents gave me a huge black sports bag.

I wanted something to carry a weeks worth of clothes - my mother being economical has got me one I think I could pack for a month in!

What did bring to you?

A new telephone to replace the one that is bust. Some assorted books and book tokens, some clothes, plus oddments for around the house.

So, a sports bag... when *are* you going to get your Birmingham living arrangements sorted out? Or are you hoping for the company to leave its spiritual home and relocate to South Oxfordshire

BTW are you planning on going to the meet on the 10th?

Sounds like a good lot of stuff from ! What books did you get? I am looking forward to the ones I got, the new Helen Fielding (v girly!) DNA's biography (just about started) a book about Spike Milligan and the Pythons Autobiography

I am not sure what I am going to do about sorting out my living arrangements. Current work unlikley to relocate to S Oxfordshire. There is a chance of Maple Cross however which is about 40 mins from the cottage.

I am starting to wonder if its sensible to keep the cottage - Very little of my life happens there - work or play. I am really enjoying the time I spend with J and have some good friends of my own down here already. So lots of decisions to make!

My job is changing a little early in the new year which should bring some normality into my life in terms of hours and being able to plan. I had said to myself that I would not think about it until the new year so have only just started to really think things through. J and I have been talking a lot too and he is being wonderful. Serious thinking to be done over the next couple of weeks!

I had hoped to go to the meet on 10th but unfortunately its now looking unlikley. Its J's birthday a few days later and I am away the weekend after - a pampering weekend at a spa . We have been invited out in the evening so I am not sure if I will be able to make it. Are you going?

"... I am starting to wonder if its sensible to keep the cottage ..."

*picks jaw up from floor and reinserts into face*

Blimey

Maybe I'm not reading that right. Though from the sound of the rest of the posting, all options look like they are up for consideration. I think I'll say Blimey again....

Blimey


The books aren't anything special. Somethings about consumer politics in the Canadian market.

It's a shame you're not going to the meet. It's been a while since I've seen you. Oh well, another time maybe.

Its OK I am still picking my jaw up off the floor too!

I am not sure what you mean about all options being up for considerations but there are a fwe we are actively considering but there is no need to rush! I have been effectively living at J's when not at work since we got back from holiday since we had the play to produce and the heating is not working at the cottage. We have both enjoyed it a lot. However if it was to become a more perminant arrangement for the weekends, his current flat is too small and he suggested we look at some other options.

Still lots of working out to do - and both of us have to really think it through, so still just ideas rather than a plan at this stage. Lots of challanges for both of us as both of us value our independance and both have had bad experiences in the past - still if we learn from them isnt that what life is all about. I am slowly coming round to the idea as I really enjoy spending time with him even if we are not doing anything in particular and do miss him when I am not with him . It would simplify my life lots and ultimately it could make financial sense too. All the practical advantages have to be weighed up against the fact it works really well now and I dont want to loose that

Most likley plan is to look at renting somewhere together in the short to medium term (up to a year) while I decide what to do about the cottage and either get to ready to rent out or sell and then actually do which ever. J has some similar stuff to sort out too and it all takes time. Need to work out the practicalities etc of this route.

* wonders if you are as shocked by this as I am! *

So what is it about consumer politics in the Canadian Market - do they have particular issues there that the rest of us dont (wonders about the French / non French thing and the proximity of the USA) or is it a localised version of the No Label books?

I am sad that I probably wont be at the meet too - there are so many people I have not seen for the longest time - including yourself I do have to keep telling myself that there are only 24 hours in a day and that I cant do everything! I have yet to perfect the art of being in two places at once Now that really would simplify my life

Hello?

Are you OK or did you fall off the chair and bang your head?

No I didn't fall over. I was posting from Portsmouth you see, so I could only post in short bursts when I wasn't being called to do something else. I felt that your last posting demanded a reply which would take longer than the time that I had available. Sorry.

What I hadn't then imagined was it take me until the end of the week to find the time to do it . This due in much to the audit preparation that I've been doing all week. Said audit is now over for the time being so I am in a state of winding down on a Friday afternoon

The bit that floored me was you saying that the future of the cottage could be in question. When I was with you, the cottage was the centre of your universe, it was home and you were never leaving. Sometimes when I was standing in you garden having a fag, I would idle wonder in which bit of the garden they would be sprinkling your ashes in 40 or 50 years time, that was the strength of feeling I was picking up. Also I never felt that you were particularly comfortable at my house - yes soemtimes it was practical for you being here like ends of the Tenerife holiday, or the Moby gig - but at all other times I always got the feeling that you would rather be spending our time together at the cottage.

So now do you see that when I find that you've 'moved' to Dunstable, I can say that you've obviously got a relationship with J that is going places that none of your other relationships in quite some time have gone. Nice one

' I was posting from Portsmouth ' - sounds like thats going well then - I certainly hope so.

How has the audit gone?

Thank you for your comments - like you there is a long reply in here but its going to take some time to put together. I hope it wont take me a week to find the words to explain but hey who knows!

To summarise...'Home' is a complex thing and lots has changed for me over the last year. You correctly identify one of the main ones and you are right I never felt that comfortable at your house - I did love where it was though! I have very mixed feelings about the cottage at the moment and thats going to take me a while to work through. When I was living there all the time I felt really part of the place but since I have been living away that has not been the same. The village itself has changed and so have the people who live there - no surprise really. I find now that more of my non work life is no village related if that makes sense. Having something as complicated to look after as the cottage is also very stressful and I cant give it the energy or focus it needs at the moment. I do however need to regain the feeling of being based somewhere and long to have some of my things around me...

As I say all a bit of a muddle in my head at the moment!

I really do appreciate your thoughts and that you are pleased at the way things are going for me with J. I am so very lucky that I met him and still cant always believe my good fortune. Hes not perfect - no one is but I think he is wonderful and spending time with him makes me very happy.

I certianly hope that you have found something similar and that if not both of you have the courage to realise it.

Portsmouth - yes, things seem to be ticking along OK. I still don't spend that much time in J's company. She was here one night during the week, and I'll be seeing her again on Sunday, though probably not staying over.


"...I am so very lucky that I met him and still cant always believe my good fortune... " - at some point I'm going to have to let you in on the secret of 'The Curse of Mike'

'The Curse of Mike' I am not sure I like the sound of that ... I think you had better explain!

Is her initial J as well? How strange is that. I hope you have a great time today when you see her

My curse? Well it depends upon your point of view I suppose.

It is an interesting little statistic about ex-partners of mine. Of the 11 people who I feel I had serious relationship with ie I fell in love with them. A total of 8 married or formed similar lifetime commitments to their next partner. That to me is a weirdly high proportion

So now you know: if anyone wants to find their soulmate, they need to shag me for three months first

Well I guess only time will tell what I do to your 'statistic'!

So how has your week been? Did you have a good time in Portsmouth last weekend?

What have you got planned for this weekend? I am going to a Spa for a whole weekend of pampering - a gift which I am looking forward to accepting. I am shattered so a weekends mini break is going to go down a storm

Yes, Portsmouth was fine. I didn't stay for that long and was back home by about 10pm. This weekend, well Saturday anyway, I'm planning on going to Sheffield. I hope I make it in one piece, as the car is thinking of playing up again - a possible overheating problem I think

So what's this spa you're going to? Is it a sort of girly health club type of an affair?

And finally what are you doing on line at 3pm on a Friday? It's almost like being back in the very old days

I know - good isnt it I could get to like this working from hom thing

I have had a couple of really productive days at home recently so work benefits too

Glad Portsmouth was OK.

Is the Sheffield trip for footie? Will you see Karen while you are there?

Yep I think you have my weeknd right - we are going to a spa in Leicestershire and there will be a facial, a massage, a sauna, steam room and I am having an indian head massage and reflexology. Should be wonderfully relaxing - a little bit of calm in between what has been and what will be some very hectic times. I go tomorrow am and come back on Sunday

Well of course it's football related! It's against West Ham, which could make for an interesting trip back down the M1 depending upon the result. The game is a late afternoon kick-off, as it is being shown live on Sky Sports 1. The plan is to go up early in the day and mooch around the city for a bit soaking up the sights and all that jazz.

Sounds like you will have a good day then!

Maybe see you on the M1! I have to be in Leicestershire for 11 and I am leaving from the Luton area