h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Wily] [standing next to Corrigible] Not for me! I just don't need any of those things!

[Corrigible] ... Um, didn't you just crash?

[Helmeted Author] [rushes in and knocks Corrigible out] There are NO plot holes! None! NONE!!

....

[Tiesel Bonne] [an odd-looking fellow with a silly voice] Excuse me ... I wish to become a member of STUMPED.

[Corrigible] Sounds okay. Show me your resumé. [takes it] Hmm ... you're the head of a family of s?

[Tiesel] Uh, yeah.

[Corrigible] Great. You get into one of these spheres, and we launch you into that pinball machine. For three days.

[Tiesel] Umm ...

[Corrigible] [shoves him in] And by the way ... one of the spheres has a thermonuclear explosive in it. [slams the door shut] Mwahahahahaaa! [launches it]

Three days you say? Trying to avoid dieing in a thermonuclear explosion? I get the next pin-ball.

::throws him in a ball while waiting::

[Corrigible engages multiball mode.]

[Corrigible] Whee!

Whee! I can see why this place s called the Hazing Chamber.

*Kudos takes this golden opportunity of escape. Unfortunately, being of the typical villain-that-cannot-possibly-win variety, he makes his escape into a vacant pinball and rolls helplessly onto the stadium floor...*

[Corrigible knocks Kudos' ball into Tiesel's. A loud clang is heard.]

[Corrigible] Whee!

*Throws a rock at one of spheres*

[Corrigible] Wait a minute! That was the --

[Thermonuclear explosion. Fade to black. Pause.]

[Caption] Just kidding.

[Cut to the rock clanging off the sphere Kudos was in.]

*Lifts up 14 rocks of various sizes using TK and projects them at random spheres*
I think we should play "This is the song that never ends" inside the spheres just to make it more interesting.

[Tiesel] Can I come out now??

[Corrigible] Sure.

[Tiesel gets out. Corrigible starts playing "This is the song that doesn't end" in the other spheres.]

*Laughs more manickly than evilly.* Hey this song isn't so bad, you know, after the first few hours.

[Corrigible] Um, whatever?

*Shakes his head and waves his hand instantly magnitizing Fred's sphere with alternating polaritys so that all the other ball keep slamming into him*

[Darth Corrigible activates the statue of the Wizard of Frobozz, which instantly begins casting Zorkish spells whose names begin with F at random locations in the pinball machine. Meanwhile, Tiesel's sister Tron enters. Corrigible senses something, and glances sharply in her direction.]

[Darth Brooks] [under breath to Darth C.] What's up? You think she might betray us?

[Corrigible] [ditto to Darth B.] No, she just doesn't feel like an underling the way Tiesel said she was.

[Brooks] Um, "feel like" ...?

[Corrigible] NO, you bozo, not like THAT, I meant through the Force!!

[Brooks] Yeah, I know.

what?

let it go, bobo.

wow, you guys look to be having waaaay too much fun with the new recruits.