h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiya...
Apologies, but Armitage left a can of your stuff around a while ago, and it seems we've been misusing it.
Armitage swore by it as a paper-clip degreaser. Lion's been using it as a screen de-icer, but I haven't really found a use for it yet, except that I did notice that you can get some nice little blue stars when you inhale deeply.
I didn't notice it making me smell nice, though. Maybe I need something more powerful. Got anything effective against fish-breath?
Pinniped

Welcome, sir!

Now, I would suggest looking around the Flavours of the World section, perhaps one of the cans in the beverage WD-42 section. I would obviously not recommend WD-42: Fish and Chips as that would make your fish-breath worsen. Another place to look is the Perfumery, where at least the scents should block out the smell.

If that doesn't meet your needs, we could do a Bespoke Service, which is a custom-created can of WD-42, tailored to your specific needs!

Feel free to look around!

Caper Plip

Hiya!

Paper clip greaser, and de-icer - ingenious! I'll have to put that down as recomended uses...

Now sir, fish breath... hmmm (thinks for a bit...)

Well, how about WD-42 Everything? It covers pretty much everything, but I wouldn't recommend it for spraying into the oral regions; you never know what you may say...

On the other hand, WD-42: Virgin Kiss has all the wonderful flavours of citrus fruits and tropical paradise, and should banish that fishy breath away

Or I could make something especially for you via our Bespoke services if you want...

Let me know what you think My collegue CP may have more suggestions in the morning Feel free to have a complimentary cup of or

Stay ,
WD

CP, would you stop sneaking up on me like that

Oh wow...two part harmony, AND I've just realised that I've accidently stumbled upon the Muse of Paper Clips.
This means that you are Armitage's Muse! Shame no-one actually knows where he's gone to, because he would certainly be excited to hear he's got one.
It's Paper Clip DE-greasing, by the way. You don't need special solvents for greasing them; you can do that bit with common-or-garden lard.
Maybe there's no such thing as Garden Lard, but you get the idea.
Anyway, I think I'd like to try the Virgin Kiss, please. The "Everything" sounds a bit too general.
There is a slight complication in that I can only pay in fish. These fish don't swim around much any more (ie they HAVE been trawled). If this is too upsetting, I do have a credit card, but it's only a fish-credit card, and since I issued it myself it may not actually work properly. Come to think of it, I seem to remember that it's supposed to be for when people buy things from me, rather than the other way round. Probably.
If this is no good, I'll have to wait for Lion to come back, either to explain yet again how the credit card works, or to lend me a few quid. It's been two weeks since he was last seen, though, so it might take a while.
...Tennis players, eh? I knew a little guy who used to played fish-tennis. Does he count? Oh, that reminds me. You can have a black and white stressbuster in lieu of payment if you like.
Yours hopefully

P.
(Thanks for the . I can normally offer C-LOs on the rocks, but I'm a bit skint at the moment. They look a lot like s, only they taste fishier)

Certainly, sir! We accept all types of payment, even as we can always revive them with an atomiser of WD-42 and stick them in the aquarium!

Allow me to place you on the front of the Boutique with a snippet of our wonderful banter!

Have fun!

Caper Plip

I am deeply honoured to be so tastefully displayed at the Boutique. I'm also seriously impressed by your product's ability to re-animate fish.
Can it by any chance do the same for moribund Children's TV characters? (For example, ones made out of modelling clay?)
That's not a request, by the way. I definitely prefer him as an amorphous blob. Just interested, that's all...
P.
(Here, have a few more...)