h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nice entry

Did the long distance relationship thing for two years before we bit the bullet and moved to the same town.

In fact this brings me to something that you could maybe add as an observation 5 - if it is hard moving apart when you've been together for a while it also requires some managing to handle moving back again. Particularly because in my experience its quite rare to move to a third area together - normally one person joins the other so that at least one job is kept. This can lead to one half feeling guilty for having dragged the other party away from somewhere they had more mates of their own and so on - the person that moves gets feelings of resentfulness, moments of doubt, you name it. Not easy but worth it though.

Some couples seem to be serial long distance lovers - I knew a couple who used to do Liverpool to Leeds and then post university managed to end up as Aberdeen to Dorset! They were still together last I heard.

I think your bit on communicating was interesting. When I first started my long distance relationship we had no money but enough time, so we wrote letters. I think one of the real pleasures of a long distance relationship is getting a letter - so much more tactile than an e-mail or the phone. Of course when you have less time the phone has got to be way to go.

The travel is the killer though. When you first start the flight or train journey is exotic, you're excited, time flys by. After a year or so it gets a bad as a commute. This leads to me to a personal obervation = a real long distance relationship needs a truly grievous journey. If you haven't got a three hour wait in Crewe, Frankfurt or similar you're not doing it properly.

Sprout

Hi Sprout!

Thanks for your message. I think you're exactly right about re-adjusting once the distance closes, and I'll certainly add it. My gf now lives a lot closer, but has felt uncomfortable moving into my life and sharing my friends rather than carving out her own space. I'll add this to the entry and give you a writing credit.

You're also right about the serial bit. There are attractions in LDRs - you don't have to suffer the social embarrasment of singleness, but you've got most or all of the advantages!

The whole thing is a bit of a mess at the moment. It might turn into a "LDR Survival guide" to incorporate Vogonpoet's comments about using the internet, and hopefully a contribution from someone about LDRs with people you've only ever met online - not an experience I've ever had!

Best wishes

Otto