h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wife has announced that her new year's resolution is to 'stop bothering'. Great. How's everyone else getting on?

Um, my New Year plans were ruined on account of their being no-one available to escort Ian's mother to hospital so he had to do it (he didn't mind, neither did I, it's just that they pay nearly £500 a week for 24/7 care)

oh and then a housing firm rang me this morning to say there was a water leak in the flat my youngest son (whom I used to care for) and they needed to gain access to it. And they had *my* phone number...why? He left almost 2 years ago. I fear he's moved again. I'm just praying he didn't have me down as guarantor or somesuch and land me with a huge bill.

How are things for you now? Is the flat situation resolved from your point of view?

I've heard nothing more about the flat.

Ian's Mum has been kept in hospital another night. When he visited her this afternoon she demanded to know where he was last night. She flatly refused to believe that he'd gone to hospital with her, and stayed until they admitted her.

Oh dear- she has dementia?

Yes, it's a miracle we both met when we did so we can support each other through the same thing with our mothers.

How did you come to meet then?

We were both visiting our mothers in the NHS recuperation home, a sort of half-way house with full-time care, for people well enough to leave hospital but not able to look after themselves at home. My mother went home with 4 carers set up (and me) and Ian's mother went into a Residential Home. He was a widower and was going to the cinema on Tuesday mornings alone. I was single, I was also going to the same cinema - we agreed to meet up one week - then we went for a meal - we've been together ever since. Almost 10 months now

That's nice. It's good that you can both understand the pressure caring applies.

Indeed. The years I cared for Andrew, my son with Aspergers, were challenging to say the least. I had hoped for a bit of respite but last year was a humdinger. And still it goes on. What I find hard to deal with is, having already arrived at Mum's and had a chat about "what I know" (since the last time I saw her, the previous day) I will then walk into the kitchen to make a for us...then I walk in the front room with her tea and it's "Hello! What do you know?" like we never had the conversation 5 minutes before.

And family members. Even I'm forgetting their names now as I have to describe them to Mum.

I've often thought that dementia must be the hardest condition to deal with, and aspergers must be pretty tough too. I have some insight into both and I don't envy either. I'm glad you've found someone to share the burden with.

Thank you

Every day I'm thankful for my partner

Have you managed to coax him onto h2g2 yet?

Nope, he doesn't even have Internet access at his house, so it's not going to happen. He is interested in reading my entries though