h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you've seen ghe Doghouse recently, you'll know that I've recently become Officer for Anti- Cat Propoganda (and Enlightenment). Assumably this gives me some small diplomatic roll, but also a scientific. Red Dog has asked me to make the Conversation Killer, and I confess I'm stuck as to where to start (i.e.I've done jack). In addition to that, I'd like to get some propoganda out soon, which I'll just nick from Goebbels and change the names.

Hi Roadkill, well I think the C-Killer has at least two settings :~

1. Yep
2. Nope

<ooc. I think something wierd just happened with my last post so herer it is [from memory] one more time

Hi Roadkill. I reckon the C-Killer should have at least two settings :

1. Yep
2. Nope

Well, ok I did do a little bit more than that: I found this guy who says that saying "I'm in computing does" kills a conversation. Working on more though
('So I've got this big pussy boil, and I went to the doctor and he told me it was contagious. 'Contagious?' I said, and he said 'Yeah, really contagious' and I said 'Wow, you don't wanna get near that' and he said 'yeah, you could probably catch it over the interenet1')

Okey dokey, things are coming along nicely now, very well written by my friend Arthbard Vootenoy. It's at A669846 .

*excited*

on my way

*eagerly awaits feedback*

*runs some more original anti-dog propaganda on a holo-viewer, 42 feet high, and loud enough to keep even a cat awake, then flies off to make more mischeif*

*Does Red Dogs have an excited reaction to the unveiling of the Conversation Killer ? Does he think Roadkill and friend have truly excelled themselves this time ? Is he gagging to get a portable version for himself ?*

Yep

Find out same place, some other time, right here.

Still in development: loads of stuff still to come, and it looks like we're looking at /all/ areas of Conversation Killing, rather than just on computers. But it looks good, stuff is being thought up all the time.

MAJOR DISCOVERY MADE!

The conversation killer in it's most basic element has three settings. Positive, negative, neutral. A lot like atoms. We're currently trying to persuade the 'yep' the 'nope' and the 'ah' to behave like subatomic particles, so that we can make the CK - bomb. May also, when bombarded with single smiley posts, work as a source of energy. What sort, we're not sure. But I think for military applications, it could be used in some sort of tazer like thing.

yep.
nope.
ah.
*waits eagerly for a reaction...*

*Ducks for cover. CK energy is distributed all over the thread. Roadkill must apply the CK antidote*

cheese (that's experimental by the way).

I think an open jar of Marmite gently waved under your nose would be a highly effective antidote and would probably do the trick.

How is the CK bomb going ? We may want to do a curiostizer style device with it to trap Cats.

Well, as soon as we can find out how a real bomb works, we'll just substitute the explosive ingredients with their CK counterparts.

Other progress? There's lots. We've made new CK- elements. Being the self- centered people that we are, we renamed them all. Instead of saying CK- Hydrogen, for example, we say Roadkillium. There could easily be a RedDogium, if you want.

Also, I have hypnotised a disease (tomitis- it's Ancient Greek for division- illness) which causes threads to disintegrate.

Finally, using advanced CK biochemsitry if you capture a cat it should be possible to recreate them in CK form. You need a bit of their genetic material, though. Only problem is that it's a bit unstable, tending to fall apart quickly- we think it dies 'cos it has no friends, not being able to converse-, and can only say 'Durrrrrrrrrr' in any case. We made a CK Roadkill.

RedDogium ... I like it. They'd be no chance of it turning out like Kryptonite of course would there . That'd be awful - imagine if the Cats got hold of that eh . Couldn't let that happen, oh no . Better be careful not to let any of that stuff out of the lab yes ? Definately don't let any be sold on the international weapons market no matter how lucrative

Absolutely. Keep it in one of those beams that you see in science fiction movies.

Hey look at that! A poor bird, on the ground, really fat, doesn't look like it could fly or even run away!

*Takes a little bit of Cybercat's blood while Cybercat isn't looking*